Thursday, March 21, 2024

Ramblemania Rewind 27 - WWE Wrestlemania XXVII (2011)

Date: April 3rd, 2011
Venue: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, GE
Attendance: 71,617

Wrestlemania holds fort in what was perceived to be enemy territory... the Georgia Dome in Atlanta, Georgia. Home of ol' Billionaire Ted himself.

In hindsight, part of me wonders if Vince wanted to stick it to Ted Turner one more time by holding one of the worst Wrestlemania shows in his hometown? And to anyone wondering why Vince would want to continue sticking it to WCW long after he bought it, please watch Wrestlemania 31 and specifically the build to one match in particular, then come back to me. The man was consistently petty over past embarrassments... and that turned out to be the least of his issues.

So yeah, this featured WWE Champion THE MIZ in his one and only Wrestlemania main event to defend his title against John Cena... but enough about that, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO WWE TO HOST WRESTLEMANIA! MAYBE HE STEALS THE MAIN EVENT SLOT FROM JOHN CENA TO MAIN EVENT AGAINST MIZ. A-LISTER VERUS A-LISTER!

Oh, fuck off. I'm already dreading revisiting this pile of shit. I'd very much like to have SOMETHING to have fun with this shit show.

The Rock shows up to open the show and welcome us to Wrestlemania... and then he'd pop up in a couple backstage segments, including one with PEE-WEE HERMAN for some reason. Oh, poor Pee-Wee. Well, at least he got paid.

World Heavyweight Champion EDGE defeated Alberto Del Rio in the opening match to retain the title. Del Rio may have gotten a bum deal for winning the 2011 Rumble - which was a special 40-man Rumble, deemed the BIGGEST Royal Rumble in history until 2018 came along and Saudi Arabia gave us the 50-Man Oil Rumble - not only does he not main event Wrestlemania in a world title match, but his match is opening the show. I mean, the match was okay; it wasn't anything particularly mindblowing, but it was okay. Some time after this match, Edge would be forced into retirement and vacate the World title... but not before he and Christian destroy Alberto's car... because Toronto guys are such sore winners.

Cody Rhodes defeated Rey Mysterio in a perfectly acceptable wrestling match. Not much to say about this one.

Kane, Big Show, Santino Marella, Coffee Kingston defeated The Corre (Wade Barrett and a couple other former Nexus guys) in what was basically a short squash that I had referred to as a BURIAL. But really, the BURIAL came when they were the Nexus main eventing Summerslam and John Cena killed them all, so really, this Corre group was just treading water until they faded into obscurity and everyone went their separate ways anyway.

Randy Orton defeated CM Punk. Not bad of a match. Pretty solid stuff. Again, no complaints.

Michael Cole defeated Jerry Lawler via DQ. Lawler originally won via submission until the RAW GM DQ'ed Lawler due to interference from Stone Cold, who was the special ref for the match. Yeah, this was not very good. A lot of stalling, nothing happening, why is this on the card sort of stuff. And yes, because of the convoluted finish, Michael Cole is undefeated at Wrestlemania. Okay, cool? You know who else was undefeated at Wrestlemania? FUCKING SNOOKI.

Undertaker beat Triple H in a No Holds Barred match to maintain his undefeated streak... yeah, I recall not liking this match all that much and even suggested in the old Ramblemania post that this might not hold up with repeat viewings. Sure enough, it did not hold up with repeat viewings. I mean, when they're actually hitting each other with moves and shit, it's not bad. But you also have a lot laying down, a lot of bad acting. To this day, I still get irritated when HHH is screaming at Taker to stay down and I'm watching that thinking, "DUDE, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PIN THE MOTHERFUCKER ALREADY? HOLY FUCK!"

Bare in mind, I'm watching a bunch of these Wrestlemanias in sequence. Ten Wrestlemanias prior to this one, these guys had a match that I thought was fucking great and held up much more than this did. People call this one of the best Mania matches and certainly one of the highlights in the Streak run, but I'm sorry. I don't agree with that at all. These match had moments that were great, but it's bogged with needless stupid acting and rest periods that kills the whole thing for me. I don't care.

John Morrison, Trish Stratus & Snooki (yes, that Snooki) defeated Dolph Ziggler, Layla & Michelle McCool in what I had deemed the designated piss break and, well, yes, it is. This is also the match where Johnny-boy gave Trish the cold shoulder treatment after the match because he felt that MELINA should've been in that spot and that apparently sealed his fate. Isn't that a good thing in the long run? Had Melina been in this match, then Trish Stratus would've been stuck with Alicia Fox and nobody wants that.

Nobody is going to get that.

WWE Champion The Miz and John Cena wrestle to a double-countout due to Cena spearing Miz through the railing and almost crashing onto the floor with his HEAD in the process. Both men are counted out and thus Miz retains the WWE Championship. Other than this one scary spot, this match was boring. Really boring. I almost fell asleep watching this match. Thank fuck Miz spends most of his WWE run as a goofy heel because if I were a white-meat babyface with THIS as my only Mania main event, I would not be so inclined to promote that fact.

And then The Rock comes down, tosses the computer, and restarts this match under No-DQ rules, so that he can Rock Bottom John Cena and allow Miz to score the pin and retain his title... and then Rock Rock Bottoms Miz and the show's over. All of this, by the way, is so we can start the build towards John Cena vs. The Rock for Wrestlemania 27... thus rendering this whole show a complete and utter waste of time.

Yeah, so this show sucks. End of story.

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