Saturday, February 10, 2024

The Last Word On DWAYNE

"Hey, kid! You wanna watch DUH ROCK go one-on-one with Roman Reigns at Wrestlemania?"

"No, thanks. I'm gonna get laid that night."

"Okay, how about watching Cody finishing his story?"

"You mean he's going after the 24/7 title?"

"What? No... no, you dumb fuck! No! I mean, he's going to fight Roman for the title at Wrestlemania?"

"Wait, I thought Roman was fighting DUH ROCK at Wrestlemania?"

"Yeah, Wrestlemania Night 1."

"What do you mean Night 1?"

"Well, Roman fights Rock at Night 1. And then he fights Cody at Night 2. That way, everyone wins!"

"Well, what about Punk?"

"Punk hurt his triceps and he's gonna miss Mania."

"Why is he gonna miss Mania?"

"Because he tore a tricep."

"So what? Cody wrestled with a TORN FRICKIN' PECK!"

"But Punk tore a muscle. He's hurt."

"Aw, give him a couple Z-Paks and he'll be fine. I don't care if you gotta Z-Pak him to death. I WANT CM PUNK TO MAIN EVENT WRESTLEMANIA!!"

"Well, that ain't happening..."

"Oh..."

"Yep..."

"Well, what about Sasha Banks?"

"What about Sasha Banks?"

"What if she ends up in the main event and challenges Rhea Ripley for the title?"

"That's impossible. Sasha's on Tony Khan's payroll..."

"WHAT?! WHADDAYAMEAN SHE'S ON THE TONY KHAN PAYROLL?!!"

"Yeah, well, she might be debuting on the Dynamite episode from Boston."

"Oh... well, that's cool. Nice to see they announced her debut ahead of time so they can sell some tickets."

"Um... they didn't announce that they signed her."

"What do you mean? Isn't that what Tony Khan's 'big announcement' was? That he signed Sasha Banks to a contract?"

"Nah, he just announced that there's a show in Boston... except he needs to hire some spellcheckers because they keep spelling it 'Bo$$ton' instead of 'Boston' like it's normally spelled."

"..."

"Kid, are you okay?"

"I'm outta here."

"It's late at night! Where are you going at this time?"

"I'm gonna get laid tonight."

...

...

Yeah, I don't know where I was going with that, either.

But yeah... so, apparently, Cody gets to finish his story at Mania.

Or so they say...

Welp...

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