WWE Money In The Bank 2023

I just finished watching the entirety of the Money In The Bank PPV from a couple Saturdays ago and I've somehow gathered some quick thoughts on the show. Don't expect any deep dives or anything because none of this is actually that deep.

Damien Priest wins Money In The Bank. It's your usual ladder match with a bunch of guys in it where they do some crazy high spots with the ladder and such. It's fun while it lasts, but that's about it. People were rooting for L.A. Gear Knight to win this one, but you can't get rid of the stench of Pitch Black that easily, so the nod went to the former Punishment Martinez. I'm okay with that... we need to something to tear this silly Judgment Day thing apart.

Liz and Raquel defeated Ronda and Shayna to win the tag titles after Shayna turned on Ronda for seemingly no reason. Funny how Shayna is the one stabbing Ronda in the back and the crowd cheer her for it. The match was a thing that happened.

IC Champ Gunther defeated Riddle via heel hook submission after CHOPPING THE FOOT SEVERAL TIMES. This almost saved the show for me... a fun match with two guys hitting each other. And then Drew comes back from suspended animation to challenge GUNTHER. Well, that's going to be fun.

Cody defeated Dom in a perfectly acceptable match. I refuse to call Dom "Dirty" because that's Dutch's gimmick.

We get a surprise appearance from John Cena, who wants London to get a Wrestlemania... I'm sure Vince would want to give London a Wrestlemania just to fuck with ol' TK. Then some dude shows up and demands a Mania in Australia and Cena says no. If WWE holds a show in Australia and Cena shows up to thunderous applause, then Australia doesn't deserve a Wrestlemania. Anyway, Cena AAs the other bloke as I lament the minutes spent watching this absolute waste of time.

IYO SKY HIGH wins the other MiTB ladder match, with a clever finish that sees her cuffing both Becky and Bayley under the ladder and climbing her way up over them. I actually like that finish; it's the only memorable thing I got from this match, which is every multi-person ladder match ever with a bunch of high spots.

Fake World champion Seth Rollins defeated Finn Balor in a perfectly acceptable match to retain the title. Nothing special here.

The Usos defeated Roman Reigns and that SOLO guy in a very long match that ended with Roman hitting Jey with a spear and going for a pin, only for Jey to punch Roman in the Reigns and then after a splash, Jey pins Roman, which is the first time he was pinned since Baron Corbin did it back in 2019. It's about time Roman ate a fucking pin and Jey certainly deserved to be the one to do it... he ain't winning the title, though. The match was way too fucking long and I almost fell asleep despite the hot crowd, but the finish almost saved this one. Almost.

There were a couple good finishes on here and the crowd was into everything, so the show's got that much going for it... but other than that, this was a show that was just there. Oh well...