NXT In Your House (June 2022)

You assholes thought that I was going to skip this one, did ya? You didn't think that I wouldn't follow through on keeping up with these NXT In Your Houses despite this not being the same NXT as the previous two?

Yeah, well, I'm probably stopping after this one.

For those needing further context, I have not seen a single episode of NXT 2.0 - the retooled version that went from being HHH's attempt to be the King Of The Indies to a true developmental brand featuring a bunch of random athletic rookies with dumb names and gimmicks. The most I would consume is the occasional clip here and there, which is the most I could take before emptying my bowels. I've heard nothing but negative things about this show and my brief samplings of the show have not painted a pretty picture... which is appropriate considering "pretty picture" is the furthest thing from my mind when it comes to the overall visual presentation of this NXT 2.0 program.

Regardless, I'm willing to give this a fair shake. More often than not, the NXT specials formerly known as Takeovers are usually highly regarded fare and at the very least, I'll expect more in-ring action than insipid skits. Despite this, I've got my hard liquor on standby in the event that I may need it.

Tony D’Angelo, Stacks, and Two-Dimes (a group of wannabe mobster types, I guess) defeated Legado del Fantasma (a group of Hispanic mobster wannabe types, I guess) in the opening six-man match that was a good showcase of moves and such. Apparently, the Legado guys have to join the other guys as per the stipulations for the match... which would lead to some hilarity, I'm sure. The only guy I remotely recognize from this match is the Two-Dimes guy because I saw his face on an episode of AEW Dark somewhere, so I guess he got future-endeavored.

Wait, what's that? He got whacked? Seriously? Holy cow, maybe I should watch this NXT show if people are getting WHACKED.

Say again? The show is awful? Oh, okay, never mind, then.

Women's Tag Team Champions Toxic Attraction (I don't recall their names, sorry) defeated Kayden Carter and Katana Chance to retain the titles. What the fuck kind of contacts is that girl with the funny hair (I'm guessing Carter) wearing that makes them glow like that? It looks really bad, much like those blue contacts Roman used to wear. How long before she starts wearing pearly whites? I say this mostly in jest, but it's the only thing that comes to mind when it comes to this match, which was largely forgettable.

Carmelo Hayes defeated NXT North American Champion Shoulders Torelli Big Vinny V Cameron Grimes with an assist from some other dude whose name I don't know to retain the title in what I thought was a pretty good match up until the less than stellar distraction finish. I liked this Cameron Grimes fellow when he was doing skits with the Million Dollar Man way back when and the guy does have personality to boot. I also like this Carmelo fellos; he's got talent.

NXT Women's Champion Mandy Rose... I guess she wasn't good enough for the main roster... defeated Wendy Choo... a girl in a onesie who sleeps a lot... to retain the title in a thing that happened. This opened with a dream sequence and you've already lost me. Like, this is silly and not the good kind of silly where I could sort of laugh at it. This is the lame silly where I'm questioning my will to live. This was dreadful.

The Creed Brothers defeated NXT Tag Champs Pretty Deadly (Elton Prince & Kit Wilson, formerly from NXT UK) in a perfectly acceptable tag match to win the titles. I mean, sure, this was a thing that happened. And it was fine. Creeds are big dudes, so I can guess why they won.

NXT Champion Bron Breakker defeated Joe Gacy and his druids... you know, even with the video packages that they show to try and bring everyone up to speed on the backend of the match, I still have no clue as to why this is a main event match. Nothing about Joe Gacy has me convinced that this guy is a threat to this Bron Breakking Wreck Steiner dude. Hence, why you have the stip that if Bron gets counted out or disqualified, he loses the title. But even then... it's such a useless stip because you know there isn't going to be a title change because you know Bron is going to retain... and he did. The only way this stip would come into play is if the people booking the match are fucking morons.

Anyway, that was NXT 2.0 In Your House Beta 123. And what can I say about this? I didn't completely dislike it, I thought there was some good stuff on here, but at the same time, this didn't feel like a special show or anything like that. It sure didn't make me want to follow NXT on a regular basis, which is fine because the only way you're getting me to watch NXT these days is to scale it back an hour and have better storytelling. THat's not happening, so I'll stick with recaps.

But yeah, this wasn't too bad. It was a show. Best I could come up with. Sorry.