Monday, July 4, 2022

WWE Money In The Bank 2022

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. I am doing a PPV musings on yet another WWE PPV in 2022.

Don't get too excited. I had a stomach ache last night, I couldn't sleep, and this popped up so I figured why not? At the very least, if the show sucked and made me fall asleep, it'd be worth it. I'm also not going to say a whole lot here since I haven't been following WWE as of late.

Liv Morgan wins the Women's Money In The Bank featuring Asuka, Becky Lynch, Lacey Evans, that Shotzi girl who lost her tank, Alexa Bliss, and this Rachel person whom I've never seen before and if I have, I probably don't remember. Like most women's MiTB matches, this was a bit of a trainwreck and a struggle to follow things along... which is funny because this is taking place after AEW had their Blood & Guts show and I followed that match just fine. Then again, I was more excited for that match than I was this, so that didn't help.

But yeah, Liv Morgan wins. I don't get the appeal, but a lot of people seem to like her, so... yay?

Bobby Lashley (who's all smiles now and seemingly reverted back to his 2006-2007 run, which is NOT A GOOD THING, YOU CRETINS!) defeated United States champion Austin Theory (I refuse to just call him just Theory, fuck off) to win the title. This was alright, though it kinda spoiled the main event for me since I figured Theory was losing the title here so that he could get the briefcase later - and sure as shit, I was right... and I haven't even followed this show in months or longer.

RAW Women's champion Bianca Belair defeated Carmella to retain the title in a thing that happened... and then Carmella attacked because... what's the phrase people like to use? This feud must continue? Yeah, that's the one.

The Usos defeated a jabroni tag-team to retain their tag titles. Coincidentally, this was the point where I had to go to the bathroom and unload my bowels, but I wouldn't say that I missed the match. The Usos are slowly becoming that "Obligatory Piss Break" match for me and what could really push it over the edge is if they have another feud with New Day or something.

Smackdown Women's Champion Colder Than Cold Ronda defeated Nattie via submission to retain the title... this was a surprisingly (well, not really, but go with it) HORRIBLE match. So bad that it actually caused me great physical pain. And then Liv Morgan comes out to cash in and pins Ronda in less than half a minute to become the new champion. So I guess Ronda is going back to pregnation vacation or whatever she's calling it?

By the way, how sad is it that none of these women have the patience to hold on to that Briefcase for a few months before cashing in? I swear, other than Carmella, almost every cash-in on the Women's side seems to be done on either the same night or within the same week. Ladies, it's an empty box that you have to carry around for a bit and you can use to store other crap in there. It's certainly more convenient to use than, say, one of those interchangeable title belts.

But yeah, Liv cashed in and is the new champion. People seem to like, but I don't get the appeal. Oh well...

And as I predicted, Austin Theory (again, not calling him the other name) wins the Money In The Bank ladder match as a last minute addition to a match that also included Matt Riddle, Seth Rollins, Madcap Moss, Sami Zayn, Sheamus, Drew McIntyre, and that tall black dude whose name I don't remember. Finish comes when Riddle is about to grab the briefcase and THeory just runs up and swipes it.

You know, I remember complimenting a similar finish last year with a bunch of women were struggling to climb a bunch of ladders and then along came Nikki Ash, who just ran up and grabbed the case. Because at the time, I thought that was a clever finish that poked fun at the whole deal. And so they did it again here and it comes off as lame. Because Riddle's a guy that people seem to like - and to be honest, after the few snippets I've seen of the dude, he's starting to grow on me a little - and then along comes this Theory geek to come in and sweep the rug from under him... yeah, not exactly worthy of high praise.

Also, I don't know if people are aware of this, but WWE is lacking in the babyface challenger department for Roman. And while he might not have been a super duper megastar, Riddle could've been elevated a bit with this win and used the case to store his paraphenalia, if you get my drift... but I guess after the RVD thing in 2006, WWE is weary of giving another stone a shot at their top star. And that's a bit of a shame.

Well, this show was a thing that happened and as it turned out, I did have a bit to say after all. I'd come up with a proper concluding thought, but I'm about to pass out so I will just call it a night and bid you adieu. A proper PPV musings will be coming up this Wednesday.

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