Thursday, May 12, 2022

AEW Dynamite (May 11th, 2022): The Only Goodhausen Is A Deadhausen

Pretend you're Excalibur and you have to read the following paragraph in less than 30 seconds of airtime.

Adam Cole beat Dax in an Owen match. CM Punk killed the Meatman with the Hangman's Buckshot Lariat. A Tony Schiavone-conducted interview with Britt Baker does not get interrupted. Tony Nese, who didn't even get an entrance, Kill-Hausens Danhausen, much to my happiness... and then Hook shows up because sure, why not? And now we have Hookhausen... I'd be much happier with Deadhausen, but whatever-hausen... Fuck, now I'm doing the hausen thing. MJF/Wardlow contract signing turns into a Dark Side Of The Ring segment featuring Barry Horowitz... MJF gets a pop from the Long Island crowd. They book the match for DOuble or Nothing, assuming ten whip shots, cage match from Ten Guy with MJF as special ref... and Wardlow kills the lawyer guy. Ricky Starks retains his FTW belt over Jungle Boy. Toni Storm beats the Hayter and Jeff Hardy beats Darby in what is supposed to be an Owen match but ended up being a match full of crazy spots and by the way, did you know Owen's widow and kids were at the show? I wonder what they thought of that match.

It was a better show than last week, at least.

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