Wednesday, April 20, 2022

WWF Armageddon 1999

The final WWF PPV of 1999... and while its main event set the stage for the main event picture of the new millennium (in more ways than one, as it would turn out), the rest of the card... well...

Let's just dive in, shall we?

The Acolytes won the tag team battle royal, last eliminating the Hardyz to the annoyance of the crowd. Tell that crowd not to worry; the tag-team scene is gonna get better. This was a typical battle royal;  a bunch of stuff happened and none of it mattered until the very end. No biggie.

Kurt Angle defeated Steve Blackman in a thing that happened. Angle looked good, but Blackman looked out of his league. We need better competition for our unappreciated Olympic Gold Medalist and Real Athlete KURT ANGLE.

The Kat wins an evening gown match to win the Women's title, in which she celebrates by stripping away her own dress and then pulling off her bra to reveal BOOBIES before she is quickly covered up, much to the chagrin of the crowd. Don't bother rushing to the Network, kids, because they blurred this off. And this is the second time I've seen live boobies on a WWF show; the first being that Capital Carnage show from the UK the year prior.

Hardcore & Crash Holly defeated Rikishi "I did it for the Rock" Phatu & Viscera. Waste of time. And the fat guys husky fellows fight ech other ater losing.

Val Venis defeated Euro champion British Bulldog and D-Lo Brown to win the title. This was also death.

Kane defeated X-Pac in a cage match.

Chris Jericho defeated Intercontinental champion Chyna to win the title in another fine outing. THis might've been better than the match they had at Survivor Series.

The Rock and Mankind defeated Tag champs new age outlaws via DQ when Al Snow ran in to attack Rock.

WWF Champion BIG SHOW defeated Big Bossman to retain the title in a couple minutes to end this feud. The feud was funny at first before it got stupid, but thank fuck it's over, I guess. Big Show would lose the title to HHH a couple weeks later.

Triple H defeated Vince McMahon in a street fight when Steph gives unter the sledge. This shitshow lasted 30 minutes and it was 29 minutes too long.

So that was the last WWF PPV of 1999 and it was dreadful. The good news is that things would start to pick up in 2000; influx of new talent, new stars being breeded, and new fresh matches with great stories being told. Things were looking up. THis show, on the other hand, showed none of those signs.

You know what? I think I'm done with the Attitude Era revisits for now. I want to save the 2000 stuff for when I'm really in a funk with these PPV musings because that's when the WWF starts to get really good as far as the wrestling goes.

As for next week... well, that'd be telling.

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