Thursday, April 28, 2022

AEW Dynamite (April 27th, 2022): First Time. Only Time.

RAW celebrated 20 years of Randy Orton with the usual opening segment where a bunch of people come in and talk... and then they book a multi-man for the main event despite not liking tag-teams because how many fucking people do you gotta pay? At least the match ended with a happy ending and the crowd went home happy... or so I've been told.

Anyway, I just finished watching the Dynamite show a short while ago... man, what a great show that was.

It opened with Dax vs. Cash in the Owen qualifier with CM Punk on commentary and the match was a fine Hart Family tribute match with all the familiar moves and spots if you can spot them. In the end, Dax wins and FTR doesn't split, and they never will. And then they announced Hangman vs. Punk for the World title at Double Or Nothing, with Punk cutting a quick promo afterwards. Hangman wasn't around that night because, in his words, his nose was covered in COVID snot. Just imagine the lower-third having a field day with that one when he comes back.

Scorpio Sky and that Dan Lambert fellow cut a promo on Sammy... and it's a babyface good guy promo. Good for Sky.

Blackpool Combat Club beat up some jabronies. Good bit of violence. AEW needs trios titles.

Some more promos followed by Wardlow and Lance Archer having a quick hoss fight before Wardlow picked up the win. This gimmick of Wardlow being cuffed and escorted by security in and out of the premises, made to be the most humiliating form of presentation on the part of MJF, is a billion times better than 99.9% of the WWE entrances used today.

Jericho's crew and Eddie's crew talk in the ring, leading to Jericho putting a hit on Eddie and then later hitting him with a fireball towards the end of the show. I enjoy Jericho and Kingston, but this feud is doing nothing for me. I'm hoping the payoff will be worth it because the ride so far has been... meh.

Serena Deeb defeated Hikaru Shida in a Philly Street Fight that amazingly spilled no blood. I'm almost impressed that we didn't get no blood 'n guts in this one, but instead, they kept it clean and fierce, which is fine. Good match between two good women even if the crowd seemed like they were bored with this whole thing. Then Thunder Rosa came out to check out her next potential challenger... possibly at Double Or Nothing?

MJF is making a call to someone to face Wardlow, someone who is taller, stronger, and smarter than Wardlow... "and you can't teach that." I didn't realize Enzo had a growth spurt, but I''m intrigued... not really.

Malakai Black and the House Of Black are beating up the masked jobber when the Penta guy and his buddy THAT MOTHERFUCKING NO-GOOD BASTARD PAC shows up... and then one of the Druids (yes, everyone has fucking Druids these days) reveals himself to be the returning Rey Fenix. So now we can move this story forward. Cool. What about Julia Hart's weird eyepatch thing that she's been wearing for months? Or that time when Shaq was put into an ambulance and then he disappeared? When is Cody turning heel... oh wait.

The Undisputed Era Elite beat up some jabronies. I feel like I've seen this story before. This whole Bucks unsure about their new/old buddies thing. Oh yeah, I saw it with Kenny, Callis, and the Good Bros. This feels oddly rehashed for AEW. Hopefully it goes somewhere, but I have to say that the Elite thus far have been the least interesting part of All Elite Wrestling, ironically enough.

Scorpio Sky defeated TNT Champion Sammy Guevara in a ladder match to win the title back. Great little main event ladder match with a couple crazy spots and lots of fine shots at Tay Conti. People seemed to like this Scorpio Sky character, which is good because Sky's a likable fella. Sammy, on the other hand, comes off best as the punchable, cocky heel, so I'm happy they reversed course on these two.

A fine episode of Dynamite, indeed. No need for the bots today.

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