Wednesday, March 30, 2022

WWF No Mercy 1999

Revisiting late-1999 WWF with No Mercy... which is actually the second WWF event in 1999 to have that name, as the original No Mercy show was a UK exclusive that took place earlier in the year. This is the first PPV not head written by Vince Russo, but his influence still lived on in a particular match.

The Godfather defeated Mideon despite interference from Viscera. Godfather showed off his ladies, had a boring match with Mideon, won, and went back to his ladies. And now he owns a gentlemen's club. Good for him.

The Fabulous Moolah... at 5x years old... defeated WWF Women's Champion Ivory via roll-up to win the title. Yes, the geriactric Moolah won the title in NINETEEN NINETY-NINE over the much younger Ivory. Ivory at 60 years old looks FAR better than Moolah did... and she probably works better too. I'm sorry, but even back in 1999, I thought this was fucking stupid and it's even more ridiculous now. And by the way, remember WWF was mocking the competition for having old guys in their main events and holding their titles? And then they do this... and decades later, they're bringing in all the old codgers. Fuck.

Hardcore Holly and Crash Holly defeated The New Age Outlaws via DQ when Gunn fameassed Crash into a chair that ol' Bob tossed in while the ref was pre-occupied, but the ref spotted that and called for the bell. Additional context; the Outlaws were tag champs some time ago, but the Hollies interfered and they lost the belts. Problem was that as a result, the Hollies fucked themselves out of a title match and so this was non-title while the champs had their own matches. Fortunately, this ended in a DQ. Eh.

Next up is the housecleaning match between Intercontinental champion Jeff Jarrett and Chyna; the match that took place on the night after Jarrett's contract expired and so they needed to give him a bunch of money to show up, drop the title, and the next night, he shows up on Nitro. Anyway, Chyna beats him in a pretty ho-hium match involving various household items. At one point, Jarret el-kabonged Chyna with a guitar and almost won the match, but the decision was reversed because apparently, the guitar is NOT a household item. There was clear favoritism in that decision, but regardless, Chyna wins the IC title, makes history, and proceeds to do nothing with it for a couple months before dropping it to Jericho and we're doing the co-champ thing later on and... my brain hurts. Can we save that for the remaining shows, please? Thanks.

The Rock defeateded the British Bulldog in a pretty dull match. Clearly, Bulldog's best days were behind hin, especially after that nasty back injury he suffered a couple years back.

The Hardy Boyz defeated Edge & Christian in the Terry Invitational Tournament ladder match... yes, kids, that's TIT for short and also... yes, kids, this is the famed ladder match that got these four young lions noticed and people really liked the match and yes, this was just as crazy and exciting as it was when I first watched it 28 years ago.

Val Venis defeated Mankind in a pretty fun little match. Val had just turned heel and was slowly veering away from the porn star gimmick that had been his thing since he started a year prior. He'd be floundering a bit before Right To Censor became a thing.

X-Pac defeated Kane and the Acolytes in a four-corners elimination match in a pretty fun match. X-Pac did his stuff, Kane killed a bunch of guys, and the future APA brawled to their heart's content. It took me a while to figure out what was going on.

WWF Champion Triple H defeated Stone Cold Steve Austin to retain the title in a really good match.

So here's the deal; everything up to the Rock/Bulldog extended squash is entirely skippable rubbish. Yes, even Chyna's historic title win, which really didn't amount to much in the long run. Once you hit that ladder match, however, that's when the good shit on this show starts to happen. I'd consider this No Mercy show as something of a transitional show; the first half is still knee-deep in the Russo pool while the remainder is slowly climbing towards the really good stuff that would define the WWF's best year. We still got two more shows in '99 to deal with and the next show can be summed up with three words.



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