Saturday, March 19, 2022

AEW Dynamite (March 16th, 2022): That Sure Was Sports Entertainment...

So I have not been keeping up with AEW as of late. I have still not seen the PPV and the closest thing I've done to catching up was following whatever recaps I could. But I was able to sit down and watch this episode of Dynamite and... well, I guess I need to bust out the Five Point Format, don't I?

Point #1 - The Trifecta Of Moxley/Danielson/Regal Is Brilliant
So Jon Moxley and Bryan Danielson had a violent fight and then William Regal shows up, slaps the shit out of them, and gets them to shake hands and team up. End result; you have the tag team of Jon Moxley and Bryan Danielson beating the shit out of dudes while Excalibur tries (in vain) to explain the appeal of Danhausen to William Regal, who is even more this shit than Grumpy Jim Ross is... and by the way, I LOVE GRUMPY JIM ROSS. This show is a billion times better when Jim Ross shits on goofy gimmicks. Anyway, Mox and Bryan kill the Best Friends and one of them offers a handshake to William Regal, who replies with a slap. I guess he's not going to Ring Of Honor, either.

Point #2 - Replacing Bad Names From Bad Creative With Even Worse Names
So the Jericho Appreciation Society is a thing; comprising Jericho, Jake Hager, 2point0, and Daniel Garcia, who is the son of Bryan Garcia and Brianna Danielson... nobody is going to get that. So at some point, Jericho declares that 2point0 have "bad names from bad creative" (a callback to a similar comment Jericho made when he formed the Inner Circle back on the second episode of Dynamite) and from now on, they'll be referred to as “Daddy Magic” Matt Minard and “Cool Hand Ang” Angelo Parker... and I'm struggling to figure if this is better or worse than Matt Lee and Jeff Parker as names. Oh, and they're sports entertainers now, because that's how you get heel heat in AEW because nobody likes sports entertainers... unless it's someone with a goofy gimmick like Orange Cassidy or Danhausen, because that's technically sports entertainment too. And I dig Orange as a gimmick and Danhausen is a unique personality, but wouldn't they fall into the realm of sports entertainment? I mean, what is sports entertainment to you people? Someone enlighten me in this regard, because to me, it's all the same bullshit. And speaking of sports entertainment...

Point #3 - The MJF/Wardlow Feud Kicks Off In A Very WWE Fashion
So Wardlow challenges TNT Champion Scorpio Sky for the title and he gets distracted by MJF and his crew, allowing Scorpio to roll him up for the win to retain the title. Match was fun while it lasted, but that finish was crap. Then you got the heels beating up Wardlow and I like that commentary mentions nobody being in a hurry to help Wardlow because he has no friends... and then the Ten Guy hits Wardlow with a chair shot to the head, which is always nice... man, this was a Monday Night RAW segment on an AEW television show. All that's missing are the ten billion camera cuts. I did not like this segment at all.

Point #4 - The Hardyz Are Back...
So the Hardyz are back and they beat the Private Party... yes, the old guys are beating the young guys, but I'm fine with this here for now because they're a "new" tag-team in AEW and having them lose to everyone is a stupid idea.

Point #5 - The Cage Match
So right off the bat, I dig Britt Baker's outfit, which has a slight Scott Hall influence in its design. If only she'd follow his wrestling... but yeah, Thunder Rosa is the new champion and honestly, this was a move that was long, LONG overdue. The cage match itself... the action was fine when they were just wrestling and using the cage as a weapon, but they lost me once they started tossing in chairs to do chair towers, which looked really fucking stupid when people did that sort of thing in WWE and is no better here. "Yes, my opponent is down. Let me build a tower of chairs so that I can do some crazy stunt while she slowly recovers." It's a trope that needs to fucking die last year... that and thumb tacks. I am over thumb tacks. Every fucking gimmick has thumb tacks; ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING TACKS, YOU HACK FRAUDS! LEAVE THAT SHIT IN TNA WHERE IT BELONGS!

So... yeah. Was not a fan of this show. Not even going to comment on the six-man because I'm over Adam Cole as the top challenger for Hangman's title. Move on to someone else, please. Thanks.


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