Wednesday, January 19, 2022

WWE New Year's Revolution 2006

Last year, WWE debuted a new PPV to the calendar; New Year's Revolution, which was the first WWE PPV held in Puerto Rico. A year later, WWE would hold their second annual New Year's Revolution in the exotic land of... Albany, New York.  Well, it certainly is exotic.

Fun fact: I have never watched this PPV before. I have seen a couple matches from it by virtue of DVD compilations and such, but never the full show.

Intercontinental Champion Ric Flair (yes, THAT Ric Flair) defeated Edge via disqualification when Edge smashed Flair with his Money In The Bank briefcase while the Nature Boy had Lita trapped in the Figure Four... this was a thing that happened back in the day. The match was fine until the finish, which I'd imagine would've perplexed folks at the time until the end of the show where it all made sense. I'll touch on that more later when we get to the end of the show because it's probably one of the rare bits of genuinely good storytelling in WWE.

Kurt Angle and Daivari hopes America loses the war in Iraq, loves France, doesn't get the black folks, and wants to tap Jesus. Angle says these things to prove that he can say anything and the fans will cheer... and they do. Because they get this is a show and Kurt Angle is a good talker. Try doing this shit in 2021 and everyone would flip out on Twitter or something.

WWE Women's Champion Trish Stratus defeated Mickie James (yes, THAT Mickie James) to retain the title. See, I had thought their first match together was at Mania that year, so color me surprised when this was a thing. At the time, Mickie was the "obsessed Trish fan" who somehow got a title shot. I suppose with more context, this would've made sense. Regardless, this was a really good match between two great workers. Trish was great. Mickie was great. The match felt like a contest between two people who wanted to win. I kinda wish Mickie had a nicer outfit than the skimpy clothes with the tie-up fabric... maybe some proper tights, but whatever. The match was still good.

Jerry Lawler defeated Shane He... er, I mean, GREGORY HELMS in a thing that happened. I don't know what the deal is with this match and I'm not sure I care enough to look it up. But, hey, at least Jerry got a win, so that's something... I guess.

HHH defeated Big Show via headshot with sledge and his MOVE. The main crux was Big Show hurt his hand and that became his Achilles heel, so to speak. It was slow and plodding, but I'm not going to say that this match sucked because it didn't. I was mildly amused by this match.

Shelton Benjamin (and his Mama - played by what I believe is a big fat dude) defeated Viscera (the former Mabel) in a thing that happened. Nuff said.

Diva Search winner Ashley Massaro won a Bra & Panties Gauntlet match and... well, this was also a thing that happened and I will leave it at that.

WWE Champion John Cena overcomes the odds by defeating Shawn Michaels, Kurt Angle, Kane, Chris Masters, and Carlito in an Elimination Chamber match to retain the title. Once Angle was eliminated, you knew Cena was retaining and the road to get to the end was really painful. By the end of the match, Cena's crimson mask and fatigued expression pretty told the story fans felt; this was long, boring, and painful to endure.

Then out comes Vince McMahon to announce that Edge is cashing his Money In The Bank contract for his guaranteed WWE title shot and that match was happening NOW. People are cheering this, by the way. So Edge comes out and spears Cena for... a two-count. The easiest thing in the world to pull off for the big reaction... and they fucked it up by having Cena kick out. You fucking idiots!... circa 2006. Fortunately, Edge hits a second spear to win the title, which earns a massive ovation from the crowd as a new main event star is born.

Suddenly, that DQ in the opening match makes a lot more sense; why go for a secondary title you've held countless times before when you have an instant meal ticket to the top prize in the game? It's actually a smart piece of storytelling that gets overlooked because the spotlight is almost always on the cash-in and the resultant title win. And make no mistake; the first ever cash-in remains the best cash-in because of the impact and because it planted the seeds in the making of a new long-term main event start... even if the road to that point still had some occasional bumps and craters to overcome.

New Year's Revolution 2006 is not a good show; not by any stretch of the imagination. Other than the women's title match, the cash-in, and... you know what, I didn't mind Big Show/HHH either, even though that wasn't all that great, either. The rest of it is just forgettable stuff and really hard to sit through due to how boring a lot of it was. A big moment capped off the show, but that's about all it has going for it.

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