Thursday, July 8, 2021

AEW Dynamite (July 7th, 2021): Road Ragin' Party

Well, AEW is back on the road, holding a show in Miami.

I considered doing a joke banner and call it "WWE Dynamite" in honor of Jim Ross' latest botch that people have railed him over, but decided against it. Hey, it's live TV, kids. And sometimes, you do something for so long that it almost becomes force of habit. Everybody fucks up. It happens. It'll happen again. And dumping one guy to replace him with another is no guarantee that commentary will be "better."

Unless you want to put Alex Marvez back in the booth... anyway...

Cody Rhodes defeated QT Marshall in a strap match... and it was a strap match of the four corners variety, which rarely produces great stuff. This was, sadly, not one of that great stuff. Not quite an ideal opener for the first road show, but whatever. It's Cody. He's gotta scratch that HHH itch somehow.

The Dark Order make another case for Hangman Page to get a title match, but get ambushed by the Jobber Club before Hangman shows up to clean house... short of actually hitting Kenny. The tease continues and hopefully, they'll hold this off for the next PPV instead of next week, for example.

FTR & Wardlow defeated Santana, Ortiz & Jake Hager with Konnan and Tully getting some action on the outside. This was fine.

MJF challenges Chris Jericho to a Labors of Hercules style trial, in which Jericho must defeat four opponents in various stipulation matches to get a match with Jericho. Jericho agrees, shakes MJF's hand, and Judas Effects the bastard out of his shoes. That's what you get for shitty cryptocurrency. Also of note is some drunkard trying to running and Jericho whacking him before the bugger is taken away by security. "Welcome back, fans" indeed. Please don't do that, kids, or else you deserve to get punched in the face.

Andrade defeated Matt Sydal in a match that was supposed to get me hyped up for this Andrade fellow, but I was more enthralled with Matt Sydal, who's actually pretty good when he isn't botching things. I want to say give it a bit of time with Andrade since he's still doing WWE style and Andrade never really wowed me there, so... maybe let it stew a little. Worked for Miro, after all.

They announce Christian Cage vs. Matt Hardy for next week's show. Are you sure this isn't WWE Dynamite?

Cody and Arn come out for an interview, then the lights go out, and now the former Aleister Black - now Malakai Black - takes out both guys to a huge pop. Don't know if the pop was for Black or for Cody getting his ass kicked, but either way, a strong debut for the man once known as Tommy End... which is a FAR better name, but to each his own, I suppose.

I had to step out and thus missed Orange and Statlander beating the Blade and Bunny, but when I come back, some guy in the crowd shits on AEW and then Lance Archer shows up to beat him up while the guy's buddies laugh. What was even the point of this? Are you sure this isn't WWE Dynamite? Maybe JR was on the money, after all. But apparently, people liked this segment and the guy in question did a similar thing in TNA. Who knows? Maybe this will go somewhere.

AEW World Tag-Team Champs the Young Bucks defeated Eddie Kingston and Penta to retain the titles. Finish was one of the Bucks stuff Eddie's mouth with thumb tacks and following up with a superkick, which is not something that wouldn't make me squeamish. Fun little main event thing despite the five billion run-ins and shit.

First show on the road was alright. I don't want to say that it was a total blowaway or anything, but some stuff happened, some stuff moved forward, and the crowd was "mostly" into it. Like the Andrade debut, it'll be a while before thing bloom, so I will wait and see.

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