Thursday, July 22, 2021

AEW Dynamite (July 21st, 2021): Forget Sting Vs. Taker. Give Us Sting Vs. Orange!

Fyter Fest Night Two. 1.148 million viewers. Yep.

Let's check this out real fast.

Chris Jericho defeated Shawn Spears in the "First Labour Of Jericho" where Spears can use a chair and Jericho cannot. Not that it matters because Spears still lost. MJF then introduces the second labor for next week; a no-DQ match against NICK GAGE, noted deathmatch veteran and all-around mean person. This intrigues me somewhat because I've seen Nick Gage in action and... yeah, nuff said.

Doc Gallows kills Frankie Kazarian... match was a thing that happened. Then the Elite beat up poor Frankie for a bit before Hangman Page shows up to get beat up so that the Dark Order can save his ass and they beat up Karl Anderson. Maybe they should go back to WWE and #BeatUpJohnCena.

Darby Allin defeated Wheeler Muta in a match featuring a dreadful outside confrontation between Orange Cassidy and The Man Called Sting, who traded ferocious kicks to the leg in one of the most dispicable acts I've seen. If Sting hadn't started that fight, Darby would've won sooner. And here I thought he was supposed to be a respected legend; who knew Sting would be a dick? Now Orange needs a match with the guy to get his win back or whatever.

And to anyone upset by the Orange/Sting confrontation, just remember that Sting was once trapped in a shark cage by the Four Horsemen and had to be rescued by ROBOCOP. Get the fuck over yourselves, you dumb marks.

AEW Women's Champion Dr. Britt Baker DMD defeated Nyla Rose (w/ Vickie Guerrero, who got the better end of the deal by not being associated with that Andrade fellow) to retain the title. Match started off a bit slow until Britt tried to do the Eddie fakeout with the belt (the bit where Eddie would take an object, toss it at his opponent, then pretend to be KO'ed, as to get the other person DQ'ed) and it didn't quite work, but after that point, things got a little better. It was fun, at least. I'll give them that much.

Fuck The Revival and Santana/Ortiz hype up their big tag match for next week's show. I'm actually looking forward to this one.

So Andrade comes out to introduce his new consultant... Chavo Guerrero, who has seemingly recovered from getting killed by Chico El Luchador at the Talk N Shop PPV. And PAC and his buddies show up and want to fight Andrade. I'm really not feeling this one. It's like they're trying to prop this Andrade fellow as some big Lucha star, but all I get from him are vibes of a third-rate Alberto Del Rio, which is not something that's going to get me excited for a guy.

Orange Cassidy kills the Blade with an orange punch... and then does it again with brass knucks. This man is a menace and needs to be stopped.

And in the main event, Lance Archer defeated IWGP United States Champion Jon Moxley in a Texas Deathmatch via chokeslam through two tables with barbed wire to win the title in his hometown. No, no, no, you're doing it wrong, you idiots! The hometown guy is supposed to LOSE in HUMILIATING FASHION! What the fuck is wrong with you losers?!

All kidding aside, I enjoyed their Texas Death Match from a year and a half ago and this was almost on par with that match. The forks were a nice touch and if nothing else, it's nice to see Lance Archer actually win a title for once, proving his murderhawking ways work. And apparently, next week, he's defending the title against some big dude related to HAKU. Should be fun.

Tremendous show this week. Hot crowd helps too. Looking forward to next week's show. Later.

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