Thursday, December 5, 2019

AEW Dynamite (Dec. 4th, 2019): It's Still A List, You Jack-Ass

Yeah, it's another episode of AEW Dynamite... and another brief write-up... this is why I'm stopping these things. When you get to the point where stuff happens and you just feel tired of saying the same thing over and over again, that's when you realize that it's for the best.

That having been said, this was another solid episode of Dynamite that was fun to watch, but probably had nothing worthwhile happening beyond a couple teases for matches down the road. Considering there isn't a major PPV event to build towards for another couple months, we're in the awkward position of trying to get things moving along until there is a PPV to build towards. That's probably why these shows have felt a bit aimless and purposeless.

So the show opened with a six-man match featuring the Young Bucks and Dustin Rhodes defeated Sammy Guevara, Santana, and Ortiz in a perfectly fine little match riddled with audio issues, where the volume would go up, down, sideways, and inside out. Technical issues like these kill the momentum for me.

And then Rey Fenix defeated TRENT in another serviceable little match with little reason to care... seriously, why should I care about TRENT?

Then Cody comes out for a promo, mentions MJF never wanting a match with Cody, to which Cody offers everything from car keys to money to little kids. A perfectly fine promo from Cody here; even the subtle dig at NXT when he mentions the Crossroads being botched in two companies (in reference to MJF doing the move) didn't seem too out of place.

Nyla Rose kills Leva Bates... then some girl runs in and Nyle Rose ends up powerbombing the ref through a table, giving us a shot of Adam Cole's Girlfriend (their words, not mine) in an attempt to knock off that one NXT appearance she made... sadly, they did not reference the death stare she gave to Stephanie during some other shot... I guess standards and practices are as strict on TNT as they were in 1998.

Le Champion du AEW Chris Jericho comes out and, after shilling his Bubbly, pulls out a list that he calls "Le Lexicon Du Champion." It's a fucking list... anyway, it's a list of names he won't be facing for the title, including:

Jon Moxley, Cody (“Because he can’t.”), the Young Bucks, Papa Buck, Uncle Buck, Buck Owens, Moxley, Hangman Page, Diamond Dallas Page, Paige, Moxley, Scorpio Sky, 2 Cold Scorpio, Any member of the Scorpions, Moxley, Michael Nakazawa, Kenny Omega, Kenny Ortega, Kenny Shields, Kenny Chesney, Kenny from South Park, Moxley, the chubby guy with the popcorn in the fifth row, the ugly guy with the dumb glasses in the third row, Moxley, Darby Allin, Rick Allen, Alan Jones (AJ Styles), Moxley, Evil Uno, Angry Dos, Hateful Tres, Moxley, Marty...

...and then the Jurassic Express comes out to interrupt and after a bit of back and forth, it turns out Jericho's last scheduled opponent is against the Jungle Boy Jumpin' Jack Jungle on the final episode of Dynamite in 2018. That should be a fun little thing... though, really, Jericho vs. the Dinosaur is the match that everyone wants to watch, but that would crack a hole in the space/time continuum... or something.

Other names not mentioned on this list include; ARMBAR, Moxley, Phil Brooks, Mel Brooks, Avery Bricks, Moxley, Boxley, Dean Lopez, Colby Ambrose, Joe Reigns, Moxley, ARMBAR, Moxley... I don't know, it's a long list.

Kris Stadtlander defeated Hikaru Shida in a pretty short but fun match. Then Brandi and Kong come out to invite Stadltlander to their Nightmare Collective, but instead they got some random girl from the crowd (presumably some new signee I don't know about) to join and she gets a haircut. I'd imagine the "nightmare collective" is some kind of Borg gimmick.

Pentagon Jr. defeated Christopher Daniels in a pretty solid match that had Daniels try but got tired and beat. Nothing to complain about.

And in the main event, Jon Moxley defeated Joey Janela in a good match that counts for the records... and then Jericho comes out from the crowd to taunt Moxley and that's where we end the show.

So... yeah, that was fine. A nice, easy two-hours of wrestling to sit through and for the most part, my brain didn't hurt too much as a result. Sadly, with things starting to slow down a bit and some bits that went under my radar, it's becoming difficult for me to come up with new ways of saying that this show has been a fun ride and quite frankly, I don't want to start doing recaps on a weekly basis. Doesn't kill my enjoyment of the show, but it does kill the need for these weekly entries.

With two fresh episodes left, maybe something will happen that will give life to these write-ups and maybe give them a high note to end this experiment on.

Until then... take care and good night.

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