Wednesday, September 18, 2019

WCW Fall Brawl 2000


So after some period of inactivity and revisiting old Summerslam PPVs, we're bringing back the wrestling PPV musings on Wednesday afternoons. And what better show to kick off this new session of weekly incoherent musings on old shows than to check out an old WCW PPV from the year 2000, built on the premise of Goldberg refusing to follow a script.

Good old WCW in the year 2000; an absolute clusterfuck of an era where nothing goes write and every week, a new contender for worst wrestling program on television is crowned.

WCW Cruiserweight champion Elix Skipper defeated Kwee Wee with a run-in assist from Mike Sanders to retain the title. For context, Elix Skipper was part of Lance Storm's Team Canada group while Mike Sanders was an asshole who ran it for the sake of running it. This was a thing that happened; a far cry from the days when WCW's Cruiserweight division was the most exciting thing to watch on the show... much like 205 Live today, actually.

Chavo Guerrero, The Wall, and Lash Laroux (all part of the Misfits In Action group with weird names I had forgotten and never bothered to look up) defeated Three Count (Shane Helms, and two other guys whose names I had forgotten) in a six-man match that was entertaining enough, but didn't keep my interest for all that long. I suppose if I were watching the weekly shows, I'd care more, but since I value my brain cells, I reserve the right to restrict my WCW 2000 visitations to recaps on the Bryan & Vinny & Craig show.

The Harris Bros. defeated Kronik. This was a thing that happened. Next.

WCW United States Canadian Champion Lance Storm defeated Hugh Morris (who had a silly name I won't repeat here because my brain hurts enough as it is) with an assist from special enforcer HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN to retain the title. Yes, Jim Duggan - the most American American in wrestling - has joined the heel Team Canada... I remember he got a haircut out of this and looked goofy. This was...

There's a match between the Filthy Animals (a bunch of names) and another bunch of names also featuring Paul Orndorff, who gave a piledriver, got whiplashed, and then was tended to by EMTs in the middle of the ring while everyone else did their thing. Regardless of whether this was real or fake, this whole thing was ridiculous and I refuse to give it further attention. Next.

Shane Douglas (almost typed in McMahon there, but stopped myself) and future WWE Hall of Famer Torrie Wilson defeated Billy Kidman and future WWE Hall of Famer Madusa in a short scaffold match. Scaffold matches suck; nothing happen because nobody wants to really fall, which is how you win. Why anyone thought this was a good idea; I'll never know.

David Flair attacks a mailman backstage... why is this a thing?

Sting defeated Great Muta and Vampiro in a three-way match. To quote one Egon Spengler, "Very good, Louis. Short but pointless."

Mike Awesome defeated Jeff Jarrett in a "Bunkhouse Brawl" match that featured a billion run-ins. Bills, Stings, Gary Colemans... my brain hurts. Why am I watching this shit?

Scott Steiner defeated Goldberg via submission after multiple strikes with a pipe to knock him outcold and then... sure, why not have Vince Russo run in for no reason whatsoever? This match became a thing because Goldberg refused to follow the script and so this match had no script. That Russo run-in felt like it was scripted, so they clearly committed false advertising here. If you take away some of the stupid shit that took place, this was a hell of a match featuring two big brutes beating the ever loving shit out of each other and both guys gave their best to make this entertaining stuff.

And in the otherwise underwhelming main event, Booker T defeated WCW World Heavyweight Champion "Big Lazy" Kevin Nash in a steel cage to win the title. This was a thing that happened, it didn't need to be in a cage - and it was a cage, not just a Hell In A Cell like contraption.

Look, Fall Brawl 2000 has some good points; the younger folks tried their hardest and even the Steiner/Goldberg match was entertaining until the bullshit injected itself into the mix, but everything else was just cruise control blandness or just bad stuff all around and just overwhelmed the few bright spots to be found here. The really unfortunate thing is that I wanted to enjoy this show, but found myself with a headache afterwards.

This whole period of WCW 2000 hurts my brain... literally. I get headaches watching anything from this era, which is probably why I refused to watch the weekly shows. Let Bryan Alvarez, Vinny Verhei, and Craig Proper suffer through the weekly shows for my amusement so that I won't have to and I'll be fine.

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