Wednesday, August 7, 2019

WWF Summerslam 1991

The Match Made In Heaven is a wedding that... didn't quite turn out so well.
The Match Made In Hell is a match... well, it certainly was Hell to watch.
But on the bright side, we got plenty of skits featuring the Mountie being awesome.

Sorry, that's all I've got. Moving right along...

Ricky Steamboat, British Bulldog, and Kerry Von Erich defeated Warlord, Hercules, and Paul Roma in a six-man tag match that happened. A showcase of everyone for the most part.

Bret "Hitman" Hart defeated Intercontinental Champion Mr. Perfect to win the title. You know, I've seen this match so many times on so many DVDs and so many compilations that I'm no longer phased by how good this match. Nothing I can say can add to how good this really is, so I won't say anything more.

Earthquake and Typhoon defeated the Bushwhackers in a thing that happened.

Virgil defeated Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase to win Ted's Million Dollar championship trophy. Sherri tried to kill Virgil for the DQ, but got ejected and the match continued... this was a thing that happened. Hence, Lonely Virgil.

Big Boss Man defeated The Mountie in a Jail House Match where the loser would go to jail... the match itself is nothing special, but the Mountie being booked and taken to jail in various skits throughout the rest of the show? Pure gold and all the credit to Jacques Rougeau for making that whole thing work. Give me that over whatever bullshit you have going on WWE television today and I'll be fucking happy.

The Legion Of Doom, the Road Warriors defeated WWF Tag-Team Champions The Nasty Boys to win the titles in a thing that happened... and that's being generous. This was the very definition of bowling shoe ugly.

I.R.S. defeated Greg "The Hammer" Valentine in another thing that happened.

WWF Champion Hulk Hogan and the soon-to-be-future-endeavored Ultimate Warrior defeated Sgt. Slaughter, General Adhan, and Colonel Mustafa (who is just the Iron Sheik under a different name... because sure, why not?). The finish features Warrior chasing off Sarge's partners while Hulk blinds Slaughter with powder and then does the usual Hulk Hogan finish. This was a main event thing that happened and is only notable because it was Warrior's last match as far as his first WWF stint is concerned and also because it features SID as special referee.

And then we get the wedding between Macho and Liz... apparently, it's the actual renewing of the vows for the couple, who were married in real life (didn't last long, however) and this was a wedding that happened. Yes, it's a very emotional moment and all that, but considering what happened afterwards, I'm not sure if I'd want to invest that much emotion into this one.

And then the after-party, which sees Liz open a box with a cobra in it... and then Macho gets ambushed by Undertaker and Jake. Yep.

So this Summerslam was alright... the main events are historic, but not much more than that. The undercard has its share of good matches to go along with some things that happened... eh, I didn't hate it, so that's a good thing.

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