Saturday, August 3, 2019

WWF Summerslam 1989

1989... the year Hulk Hogan starred in the cinematic masterpiece known as NO HOLDS BARRED... the inspiration for today's main event; as the Hulkster and Brother Bruti teams up against Macho King Randy Savage and ZEUS... played by Tiny Lister.


WWF Tag-Team Champions The Brainbusters (former Horsemen Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard) defeated the Hart Foundation (Bret and Anvil) in what I thought was a pretty good tag-team match with four top-tier wrestlers. This was a non-title match. You know you're in for a good time when you have Tully and Arn going at it with Bret and Anvil with the action being called Jesse Ventura and TONY FUCKING SCHIAVONE of all people. They actually got him to do commentary for an entire show, which is amazing. And a Summerslam, no less.

And then we get polka dot wearing Dusty Rhodes defeating the Honky Tonk Man in a thing that happened. Fortunately, people liked Dusty, so that's gotta be worth something.

Mr. Perfect defeated THE RED ROOSTER in a pretty one-sided affair. Apparently, Rooster got hurt and they had to end it quick. Either way, a quick win for Mr. Perfect is a good thing and I predict nothing but good things for Mr. P.

Rick Martel et Les Fabuleux Rougeaus (Jacques et Raymond) defeated Tito Santana and The Rockers (Marty Janetty & Shawn Michaels) in another pretty good tag-team match. Is this going to be the second Summerslam in a row that's going to feature good tag matches and shit singles?

Ultimate Warrior defeated Intercontinental champion Ravishing Rick Rude with an outside distraction from the returning Roddy Piper to give Warrior an advantage and win the title back from Rude after having been screwed out of it at Mania 5.

Demolition (Ax and Smash) and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan defeated Akeem, The Big Boss Man, and Andre The Giant in a six-man tag-team match featuring a bunch of big guys beating the crap out of each other.

Greg Valentine defeated Hercules in - you guessed it - a thing that happened.

"Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase defeated Jimmy Snuka in - say it again - a thing that happened.

And in the main event, WWF Champion Hulk Hogan and Brother Bruti defeated Randy "Macho Man" Savage and ZEUS, the dude from that No Holds Barred movie that Vince was convinced would be a credible challenger for Hogan's title at Wrestlemania... unfortunately for Vince, Zeus was just a character played by an actor and was pretty horrible at wrestling, so we got the Mania match we did get. This is the first time I saw Zeus wrestle and now I kinda wish that I hadn't. Funny thing is that these guys would have another match later on, but this time it would be in a cage.

So that was Summerslam '89. Two good tag matches and a lot of things that happened to go along with an otherwise horrible main event. Good times.

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