Thursday, August 1, 2019

WWF Summerslam 1988

It's summer... which means Summerslam is around the corner... but then again, it's been Summerslam for a month or so, so... in any event, every other day, I'll post a write-up on a Summerslam, starting from the first and ending with the last. We're skipping the ones I've already done in the past.

So, for today's offering, it's the very first Summerslam. The Mega Powers Collide With The Mega Bucks.

The opening match between the British Bulldogs (Davey Boy and Dynamite Kid) and the Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques & Raymond) ended in a twenty-minute time limit. Unlike Wrestlemania I which started with a nothing singles match, Summerslam the first begins with a pretty awesome tag-team match. In a breaking of the kayfabe, I'm writing this about a week or so after the AEW show which featured a singles match ending in a time-limit draw, which didn't piss me off as much as I thought. And lo and behold, I was fine with this here as well... sometimes, the classic time limit draw, when done sporadically, works just as well

Bad News Brown defeated Ken Patera in a thing that happened... no, really, it's not a good match and quite frankly, the less said the better. A shame, because I kinda dug Bad News... oh well.

Rick Rude defeated Junkyard Dog via DQ when he was attacked by Jake "The Snake" Roberts due to revealing tights with Jake's then-wife Cheryl. They redubbed Rick Rude's wonderfully smooth theme music with a really terrible knock-off that sound horrid. Mind you, there's a bunch of old music I'm sure got the redub treatment, but this was painful... oh, and the match was a thing that happened where the DQ took place and they teased a potential fight between JYD and the Snake. Don't know if that ever happened.

The Powers Of Pain (Barbarian and the Warlord) defeated the Russians (Nikolai Volkoff and some guy named Boris) in a thing that happened. The only thing of note is that the Powers had a dude in a cloak who bore a passing resemblance to Baron Von Raschke (the chin gave it away) and it turns out that it was really him. How about that? You learn something new every day.

There's a time-wasting segment with Brother Love and Hacksaw Jim Duggan... meh.

The Ultimate Warrior (serving as a replacement for the injured Brother Bruti) defeated the longest-reigning Intercontinental champion Honky Tonk Man to win the title in a really short match. This is something that has been showcased countless times and has been featured in classic highlights and things of that nature. This was not much of a match, but it was a moment to remember.

Dino Bravo defeated The Rock... no, not Dwayne, but "The Rock" Don Muraco. This was a thing that happened because Dino Bravo Sucks.

That's how it usually goes, no?

WWF Tag-Team Champions Demolition (Ax and Smash) defeated The Hart Foundation (Bret Hart and Jim Neidhart) with a megaphone shot across Bret's skull to retain the titles in what I thought was a pretty good tag match and the first genuinely good match since the opener. Had a bit of a slow start, but eventually, it got good and had a decent finish. Harts got cheered quite a bit here.

Big Boss Man defeated Koko B. Ware in a thing that happened.

Jake The Snake defeated Hercules Hernandez in a thing that happened.

The Mega-Powers (Hulk Hogan and WWF World Heavyweight Champion Randy "Macho Man" Savage) defeated the Mega-Bucks ("Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase and Andre The Giant) in the main event thanks to a timely distraction from Miss Elizabeth's bikini bottom that were revealed when she tore off her little skirt. Apparently, this was a big deal for the folks back in the day. Future governor Jesse Ventura was the special ref. Well, it was a pretty good tag-team match and it told a pretty good story. And it had the right ending; the good guys won, the bad guys failed, and the seeds are planted for an explosion of some sort when Hogan places Liz and her bare buttocks on Macho's shoulder... and Macho is not happy.

So the best thing I could say about the first Summerslam is that the tag-team matches were pretty good and the singles stuff was kinda forgettable stuff. A couple memorable moments here and there, but other than that, nothing remarkable.

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