Friday, August 30, 2019

WWE Summerslam 2013

So, here's the deal. I did a VLOG thing on this show when it came out and I seem to recall enjoying the show for the most part. However, it's been six years and with some time passing, I thought it'd be appropriate to revisit

For anyone interested, my thoughts on this show circa 2013 can be found here. Time has certainly changed certain mindsets, so let's get to it.

Bray Wyatt defeated Kane in a "Ring Of Fire" match, which is basically an Inferno Match, but with pinfalls and submissions instead of the whole business regarding setting your opponent on fire. I used to think that this was kinda cool with the whole atmosphere and stuff, but this was dumb, as the Wyatt clan was able to use a blanket to cover some flames and get some licks in Kane before Wyatt finished him off. If you're not going to do the Inferno match gimmick as it was originally presented, then don't do it at all.

Cody Rhodes defeated Damien Sandow in what would be best described as a perfectly acceptable wrestling match, but not much more than that, really. For context, Damien Sandow was the then-current Money In The Bank contract winner guaranteeing him a title shot at any point he chose... that he would cash in and fail to win. Then why give it to Sandow?

World Champion Alberto Del Rio defeated Christian via submission to retain the title. Well, they're bringing the quality of the action up bit by bit, as both guys put on a pretty decent show with an otherwise predictable ending. This was the last stretch for Christian as he would eventually settle into retirement early 2014.

Natalya defeated Brie Bella via submission in a short match featuring a bunch of chinlocks and a sharpshooter in a very short amount of time... the perfect amount of time to take a piss break. Lame.

Brock Lesnar defeated CM Punk in another great match; so great that I had forgotten how good Brock truly was when he has someone that can match him in temerity and intensity if nothing else. This was following a long period of hibernation from CM Punk after his Mania loss to Taker and following Lesnar's series of matches with Triple H which were the very definition of the cure for insomnia. I found Punk going after Heyman at times to be a bit of brain-dead stupidity and something that was out of character for Punk, but I guess it got the job done or something. This was probably the last great Brock Lesnar match before he would go on to face Undertaker, end the overhyped Streak, and go on a rampage channeling his 2003 Scott Steiner with lots of boring suplexes.

Dolph Ziggler and Kaitlyn defeated Big E Langston and AJ Lee in a match designed to get the crowd down to a more calm level because god forbid we try and follow up one hot match with the other. Also, how offensive is it to the people involved in this match that they're sitting between two really hot matches and their match is supposed to COOL DOWN THE CROWD? I never got that mentality. A good show wouldn't need a buffer match to cool things down. A good show would follow up with great match after great match before delivering on a satisfying main event.

With that said...

Daniel Bryan Danielson defeated WWE Champion John Cena to win the title with McSon-In-Law as special referee because god forbid we have a hot moment and a hot match without McSon-In-Law to muck it all up. Despite McSon-In-Law, I FUCKING LOVED THIS FUCKING MATCH. It was a nice back-and-forth match, both guys worked their goddamned asses off, told a compelling story of Bryan breaking down Cena bit by bit before scoring the knee to PIN CENA CLEAN. No outside interference, no ambiguous openings for debate, no bullshit. Even if you knew about Cena's bad elbow before hand, it never figured into the match in any big way and it was still CLEAN. I enjoyed this match tremendously, probably one of my favorite matches to go back and rewatch in the 2010s, and more than made up for what came before...

And then the other MitB winner Randy Orton shows up, McSon-In-Law pedigrees Bryan, Randy cashes in and pins Bryan to win the title. Show over... well, it was fun while it lasted.

Looking back, Summerslam 2013 is a show that is elevated by its two really awesome main events and a pretty good Del Rio/Christian match to round out the package. The rest of the stuff is just dull, but not quite a chore to sit through. You can fast-forward to Brock/Punk and Bryan/Cena for the good stuff, but as a whole, it's a pretty solid card.

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