Wednesday, August 28, 2019

WWE Summerslam 2009

Another day, another year, another Summerslam, another John Cena vs. Randy Orton match, another reason to use the above image and tagline yet again... joy.

Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio defeated Dolph Ziggler to retain the title in a pretty good match. This was during a time when people thought that Dolph Ziggler was going to be something of a really big deal instead of the damaged goods reputation that some people label him with. Honestly, you could have this match today and it would probably be along the same level, though I'd imagine Rey being a bit slower and all.

MVP defeated Jack Swagger in a perfectly acceptable wrestling match. Not much else to say here, so let's move on.

We get a shot of Luke Perry and his kid... the future Jungle Boy.

There's a charity bit with one of the hosts of that Access Hollywood show interviewing Freddie Prinze Jr... nobody cares. Why is this even a thing? Why am I even mentioning this?

Tag-Team Champions Chris Jericho and Big Show defeated Cryme Tyme to retain the titles. Jericho and Show are "unified" tag champs because they carry two sets of belts. It'd be months before they'd introduce the new penny belt designs. Cryme Tyme was known more for their comedy bits than their in-ring stuff and never posed much of a threat to the champs, which hurt the story a bit. Still, a perfectly fine little match where the finish was never in doubt.

Kane defeated Great Khali. This sucked. Next.

DX (HHH and HBK riding a tank and flanked by army guys... it's a nice entrance if nothing else) defeated Legacy (Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase Jr.) in a pretty good little tag match where one would think that the wrong guys won... but then again, Cody turned out fine and Ted Jr. found a higher calling in life, so who's to say, really? This was good stuff, regardless.

WWECW Champion Christian defeated William Regal with a quick roll-up while Regal was taking off his robe. Then foreigners beat up Christian for a bit so that Regal can stretch him. A complete and utter waste of everyone's time. Yours, mine, theirs, and especially the two wrestlers involved in this farce. Thank fuck they didn't do this for a third year in a row.

WWE Spinner Champion Randy Orton defeated John Cena to retain the title in a match that featured multiple restarts and false finishes that ruined the whole thing for me... bad enough it's Cena vs. Orton again, but this pales to their 2007 match, which I thought was perfectly fine. But I guess we needed more bullshit or something. Oh well.

CM Punk defeated World Champ Jeff Hardy in a TLC match to win the title. Hardy was all about high spots while Punk was all about wrestling and this is how things played out. It was a perfect clash of cultures and styles that told a wonderful story and the action served to enhance that story. A pity that this feud didn't last longer than it did.

The show ends with Undertaker returning and gunning for Punk's world title... as I recall, it ended poorly for the fellow.

Summerslam 2009 was not the blowaway show that 2008 was, but there was some good stuff on there. The TLC match and the DX/Legacy match are probably the two big highlights on the show and worth checking out.

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