Sunday, August 25, 2019

WWE Summerslam 2006

So we're resuming our Summerslam rundowns, which means I got the NEW WWE Network to work... which mostly comprised the shows playing before a spinning ball appeared. I swear, the ball lasted longer than Wrestlemania 35, but I digress.

So a year later, Hulk Hogan had another match, this time against the son of Cowboy Bob. And to the best of my knowledge, this was Hogan's last WWE match... though he would wrestle spots in TNA and other places down the line, but the less said, the better.

So might as well get on with it.

Chavo Guerrero defeated Rey Mysterio to kill off the wave of Eddie-splotation that Rey was riding on since the tail end of 2005. I find it funny that Chavo was totally justified in chastizing Rey for riding Eddie's coattails to championship glory and yet Chavo is the heel. Typical WWE thinking... the match was alright, but I wasn't feeling it due to the bitter taste it left in my mouth.

ECW Champion FUCKING BIG SHOW defeated Sabu in an Extreme Rules match to retain the title. I had completely forgotten about FUCKING BIG SHOW being ECW World Champion despite having seen that awful December To Dismember show ages ago. Quite frankly, I'm shocked that this was a match that took up space on PPV, because there was never a point where I thought Sabu would win this one.

Hollywood Huckster defeated RKO because taking a loss to Cowboy Bob's kid apparently didn't work for him, brother. Actually, this was a thing because Randy was stalking Hulk's daughter, Brooke... well, different strokes for different folks is all I'll say, but then again, she did "marry" Bully Ray in TNA years later, so that's something, I guess? Look, cut me some slack. It's been a decade since I last watched this thing. This was, as far I can recall, Hogan's last actual match in WWE. And it was indeed a Hulk Hogan match. Because god forbid he'd do something useful for once like doing the favors and giving a younger fellow the rub as it were.

Ric Flair defeated Mick Foley in an Elder Statesmen I Quit match that involved Foley saying the words (for real) after Flair threatened to hit Melina with a baseball bat. Melina repayed the favor by betraying Foley the next night because she's a user... nicest way to put, I guess. This had the potential to be a sad state of affairs with two old guys chugging along with a slow paced match and instead, what we got were two older veteran beating the ever loving shit out of each other and resulted in a hideously grotesque bloodbath. It was an entertaining little piece for the time, but looking back at it now... I would've been fine without the gusher.

Batista defeated World Big Gold Belt Champion King Bookah via DQ when Sharmell interfered; Booker retains. While Batista couldn't just win the title here instead of at a B-Show... this match was slow, plodding, and very boring. Not a fan.

D-Generation X (HBK and HHH) defeated Vince and Shane McMahon in a hardcore tag title match because of course they did. Shane did the big stunts, Vince took the beatings, and DX did their usual stuff. Hey, say what you will about the "comedy" bits that haven't aged well in the slightest, but at least the match was entertaining fare that didn't feature Big Show's bare ass... that would come along later.

WWE Spinner Belt Champion Edge defeated John Cena to retain the title. The added stip of Edge losing the title on a DQ never came into play because Cena was the one who did the cheating. The match was fine, but they'd have better ones.

Summerslam 2006 was a thing that happened... and that's all I've got to say about that.

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