Tuesday, August 6, 2019

RAW (Aug. 5th, 2019) - Haven't I Already Seen This Shit Before?

So in lieu of a video review (I'm saving that for Thursday because it's a very special game for a very special day) and because I had nothing better to do on a rare night off, I've watched last night's RAW off the DVR... I honestly don't know why I did this... but there you go. Now I didn't watch the whole show because I'm not that hopeless, but I did catch some of the major points of the show... and well, Paul Heyman's RAW is no better than what I've sat through before, though to be fair, it wasn't all bad.

- So main event angle was the announcement of Dolph Ziggler taking on Goldberg in what should be a short match because that's what Goldberg does best and that's what he should be doing to begin with. I liked this segment because Dolph came in cocky and signed a contract without looking at it and figured it'd be a match with Miz but that's not the case. They teased a match with HBK, but he shat on that, which left one name that the crowd was chanting and they were given Goldberg, which made everyone happy for once. A happy ending on RAW, imagine that!

So maybe this is what writes off Ziggler from TV so he can go back to comedy shows and stuff. Nothing against the guy - he's a talented performer and pulls off the cocky asshole very well - but Ziggler is slowly getting that FUCKING BIG SHOW vibe where he's in a program and I'm like "Oh, fuck. Not this idiot again." It gets to a point where I'll watch this guy, but I won't care about what happens to him. So if this Goldberg thing means Dolph's off my TV for a long time, then I'm fine with that.

- So last week, Brock Lesnar beat up Seth Rollins... and then this week, Brock Lesnar went ahead and beat up Seth Rollins... and then Seth cuts a passionless promo about loving this thing and people are openly shouting "WHAT?" or "YOU SUCK!" This was supposed to get you to get behind Seth, but he came off as such a total fucking geek that all it made me feel was absolutely apathy and disdain for this loser and I sure hope Brock retains... that is not a positive sign, folks.

But, that's on Seth; he ran his mouth on Twitter like a geek, he said stupid things, and his promos have been so lackluster to go along with his less than stellar showings (which is shocking since Seth is usually really good) that when he got his ass kicked by Brock, I was actually looking forward to more of this Brock kicking Seth's ass and hoped we got more of that at Summerslam... never though I'd be saying that, but there you go.

What really bothers me about all this is that I've already seen this shit; Brock beating up the so-called top guy and face of the company endlessly in a vain attempt to get people to care about him. It never works because the other guy is stuck in that role that's ill-suited for him. I didn't buy into this with Roman, which could've worked with the right material that never came and now they're trying the same thing with Seth, who comes across as such an unlikable geek and whiny loser that I can't buy into ANYTHING he does. He is essentially the new old Baron Corbin; his Twitter exploits sullied his on-screen exploits and I've long since stopped caring.

- In other news, the 2Cons have lost their tag-titles in an Elimination match to the team of Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross... bet you forgot we had Women's Tag-Team titles, didn't you? Because I sure did. And you know what? It's probably for the best; they were doing nothing with them, they were considered a geek team, and while I would've preferred another team in that match to get the straps, I supposed Alexa and Nikki are better than what came before.

- I caught wind of the Smackdown clip where a bunch of stuff slowly fell on Roman Reigns and he sold it like he got hit with a wet bag or something. I thought it was the most ridiculous thing to occur on what I'm assuming is not yet Eric Bischoff's Smackdown... so leave it to Paul Heyman's RAW to up the ante by having Roman and Samoa Joe confront each other in the parking lot and then... Roman looks to his side and then hops into his car so that we can have another car run in and smash the back end... oh, goodie. We're doing the Hummer storyline from WCW again, aren't we? Maybe we can get Carmen Electra and come out that she was the one that... oh wait, that's the other guy.

Unless this is a way to write off Roman Reigns for a short while at least, this came off as so stupid and so ridiculous... how long before we get to the point where Roman Reigns is abducted by ninjas and none of this is explained the next week? I mean, they've got the old TNA guys behind the scenes; it's not that far off from that realm of possibility.

- On the bright side, there was a fun little match between Rey Mysterio and Andrade., where Andrade is trying to get rid of Rey's mask because Heyman doesn't think he's marketa... oh wait, that's the other guy. I'd imagine this is leading us to a Hair Vs. Mask match at a later point and I wouldn't mind that because what I saw here was pretty good despite its somewhat short length.

- Bray Wyatt showed up in a mask and gave Kurt Angle (who was the hometown guy reffing some other match) a Mandible Claw to put the former multi-time World Champion down. I like the idea of Bray using the Mandible Claw as a new signature move; I like the idea of paralyzing nerve holds because there's a mystique to it. I am not crazy about that mask - a Tom Savini creation from what I understand - it looked fine in the vignettes, where were pre-taped stuff with smoke and mirrors to make it menacing... but in the live shots, it just looks a bit goofy.

And that's all I've got for RAW. A lot of stupid stuff, none of it exceptional, and quite frankly, my brain boggles on this stupidity... and it's a stark reminder as to why I stopped watching this show, much less not talk about it anymore.

Maybe one of these days, I should just bite the bullet and check out a random episode of Nitro to see if it's better than this as the morons on Twitter claim. I highly doubt that.

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