Monday, April 1, 2019

WWE Crown Royal (2018 Saudi Show)

Happy April Fools, everyone. Let's celebrate the occasion with a string of silly, stupid posts every hour. And we're going to start with my musings of the Gooker Award winning extravaganza from Saudi Arabia, WWE Crown Royal!

WWE signed a deal with Saudi Arabia to produce two PPV events per year at the country for the next decade or so for a shitload of money. A shaky proposition on its own due to the country's restrictions flying in the face of WWE's so-called progression with its #LOLWomensEvolution and its "diversity" checklist... or whatever. But then Saudi officials got a journalist assassinated and all of a sudden, this show was becoming less attractive by the second to the point where the crowd actually booed the Undertaker during a promo when he mentioned the name of the event.

Pressure mounted all around for WWE to cancel the event and break their deal, but ultimately the company went ahead with its plans, citing that they wanted that sweet, sweet, Saudi money and they were willing to offend everyone to get ahold of that cash. To many, this was appalling behavior that didn't deserve to be rewarded. To me, it's par for the course with WWE, who isn't above being tasteless and tactless in order to make a quick buck and try to remain relevant.

So... yeah, I didn't watch this show back then. Set during the day so I had better things to do and no leg injury to keep me in bed, not to mention the allure of watching old men wrestle in the main event had no appeal to me in the slightest. However, because I lost a bet, I had to watch this show and record my thoughts on it to digital media. And so here we are...

Unfortunately, my thoughts were briefer than the show itself.

Eight men participated in the World Cup To Determine The Best In The World tournament to determine the World Cup To Determine The Best In The World. All eight participants were American and the finals boiled down to Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz... except it didn't because Miz got hurt and then Shane McMahon inserted himself into the tournament and managed to beat Ziggler in the finals, thus winning the World Cup To Determine The Best In The World tournament to win the World Cup To Determine The Best In The World World Cup and thus proclaim himself The World Cup To Determine the wahtkbiugb89bnc9ondfoeds. odhonf90 infe90ndsi sd9odfnew9nd0sd 0sdnsd8n iodh sihfds iodnodhuikdndgi8d ihsfybudg God bless Shane-O-Mac and his sdiohdgngsosa fofaenerbargkjabgiohcbas aoinCOLFBIOBD oNFIONsfiosnfsdf djdkd.

Earlier that month in October, Red Belt champion Roman Reigns vacated his title due to his leukemia battle... In the meantime, we have Braun Strowman vs. Brock Lesnar for the toy belt. Before the match begun, Strowman was punked by geek commish BARON CORBIN and this allowed Lesnar to F5 the strawman several times for the win and the title. This match was a complete pile of oidfas90hn4 onsefkjb49b f 9idwnew ew9ohjfnwe psjdfnion4 fopfjenf sfpfjsnsd wq93hnjdan  aOPJNDAUI DAUISABb s ainadbBS8ID DOIDHDNA...

WWE World champion AJ Styles defeated Samoa Joe to retain the title. A couple weeks later, he'd drop the title to Daniel Bryan Danielson via kick to the junk.

And in the main event, we have the old guys play with each other. 9h89hf duh8b f8hf4bf9fnb f 9wshf sf9fnbsb f4ihnsf s4os4fb4f fs4ios4hfns4f 48fnsfb sfih4nsf f fisn4onff fisnef ffe9fhnesf sf9hfn43on4 fweifnoefw fisnfosdnf9e-w ffnwsofnwef gifnewiovonv fweinfweo08i9 434j3oindsno wdlkdnw dwdlwn wdiwndionwd9-fnf3 3r9jfspnfoinfnsdffd

So that was Crown Royal... except no it wasn't... because I didn't watch the show.


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