Wednesday, March 6, 2019

WCW Capital Combat 1990

Seriously, the banner says it all.

This whole show was built around one thing; Robocop making his first (and to date, ONLY) wrestling appearance. I'm sure the actual show will not live up to the hype and legend that has been inflated by internet lore, but fuck it, I want to watch this one regardless. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Aside from everything, of course...

The Road Warriors and Norman The Lunatic defeated Kevin Sullivan, Bam Bam Bigelow, and Cactus Jack. Just a bunch of big, strong guys (and Kevin Sullivan) beating the ever-loving piss out of each other and making a grand ol' spectacle of it. This might not have been the most technically proficient or the most effective storytelling, but goddamn, it was FUN. I'll take it.

Mean Mark defeated Johnny Ace in a grave undertaking. In fact, it wouldn't be long before Mean Mark undertook his gravest undertaking in New York, where he'd enjoy a somewhat healthy living being a deadman and stuff.

Meanwhile, esteemed legendary announcer Gordon Solie is standing in front of the locker room doors of Sting and ROBOCOP. God bless Gordon Solie who has to sell this nonsense with a straight face.

The Samoan Swat Team defeated Tommy Rich and Mike Rotunda (a.k.a. I.R.S. or Bray's Dad) in a seventeen minute match that probably went sixteen minutes and fifty-nine seconds too long. Enough said.

Paul Ellering defeated Teddy Long in a hair vs. hair comedy match that saw Long load up a boxing glove, only for Ellering to steal it, hit Teddy with it, and get the win. Teddy then gets his head shaved bald; a look he'd maintain to this very day. Just as well; Teddy Long with hair seems weird to me.

The Midnight Express (Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane) defeated WCW U.S. Tag-Team Champions Brian Pillman and Tom Zenk to win the titles. Highlight of the match was at the very beginning where Jim Cornette avoids getting stuck in the cage he's supposed to occupy by running around the ring before getting clobbered by Randy Anderson, who is a referee. That was funny... and probably didn't make any money. But hey, never mind that shit. This was a tremendous match.with some nice wrestling bits and reversals that kept things moving and never dull. Gotta admit; I'd probably be more into this if I were more familiar with the product at the time, but even so, this didn't bore me in the slightest and I quite enjoyed this one.

Robocop arrives at the building, but then we cut to Sting getting attacked by the Horsemen and tossed into a cage. And then Robocop shows up to bend a couple bars to break Sting free and that's the whole schtick. After this one segment, Robocop is never seen again in WCW. That's it, everybody. That's the whole segment. Robocop returned and then he went away. And this is what WCW was trying to sell to people was this one, worthless Robocop segement whose only purpose in life is to be mocked and ridiculed by internet users of the 21st century.

Also, I find it absolutely hilarious that of all the fictional characters that you could have featured in your mostly family friendly wrestling show, you decide to go with ROBOCOP... a character whose movie features near excessive amounts of violent content that earned it an X rating. This is THE STREET FIGHTER levels of gruesome.

The Rock N Roll Express defeated The Freebirds in a Coporial Punishment match... which basically boils down to leather straps added to the turnbuckles and to be used on your opponent whenever needed. Thing is those straps saw little use and it eventuall.

DOOM (Ron Simmons and Butch Reed) defeated WCW/NWA Tag-Team champions The Steiner Brothers to win the titles.

Lex Luger defeated NWA World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair via DQ in a cage match due to outside interference from Barry Windham when the cage was raised for some reason.


Look, let's be honest; for most people, Capital Combat is the show that's best known for Robocop showing up at a WCW event and that's exactly what people got. One stupidly infamous moment in wrestling lore does not a whole show make and if you stuck around beyond that one moment, what you got was a nice two to three hour stretch of solid wrestling action from top to bottom. Hair vs. hair aside - which didn't take much time anyway and was relatively harmless .

All in all, a good show even with the silliness.

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