Monday, February 18, 2019

Thoughts On WWE Elimination Chamber 2019... But Only The Chamber Matches...

So in a rare feat by my standards, I actually watched a WWE PPV live. But not the whole show... instead I just sat through the two chamber matches that opened the show and skipped everything else in between. From what I've heard, the middle of the card, featuring a couple title changes and Baron Corbin beating Braun Strowman in a no-DQ match, was the drizzling shits. So once that first Chamber match was over, then I took some time editing the Pixel Player gimmick due next Sunday.

So Sasha Banks (who was apparently injured after her match with Cold Ronda) and Bayley are your new Women's Tag-Team champions after defeating five other teams in an elimination chamber match... Apparently, the chamber is big enough for two people to fit in, so I guess that works. I want to say that this was an amazing match or anything like that, but in truth, I was feeling a bit bored at the end of the day because the match dragged out for so long and the action itself was pedestrian fare. I guess when you're busy pushing your latest branding gimmick and not showcasing your female superstars in a way that gets people invested, that will no doubt happen.

Once the match came down to Sasha/Bayley vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville, I rolled my eyes as I was expecting the Legit Hugs or whatever they're called to do the favors, but much to my surprise and slight tingling of joy, the good gals proved to be the better team on this night and we have new Women's Tag Team Champions for the first time in several decades. This match wasn't as awesome as the Impact Zone Zombies make it out to be and it ran a little long for my tastes with very little happening, but for what it was, it was alright and it was nice to get a happy ending where the good gals are happy and showing some actual emotion over an actual win that actually means something. And as long as the ending is good, you'll forgive the match that came before being a little below par.

And then along came the undercard, which I skipped... but for those curious about the results...

The Usos defeated Smackdown Tag Champs Miz and Shane McMahon to win the titles, Finn Balor defeated Intercontinental champion Bobby Lashley and Lio Rush in a handicap match when Balor pinned Rush to win the title, Cold Ronda beat Ruby Riott in a minute and then got beat up by THE MAN with crutches... oh and Baby Flair was there too, and Baron Corbin defeated Braun Strowman with help from a couple of his buddies in a no-DQ match... because why have your big man job to Brock when he can job to Geek Corbin?

So that was the undercard, everybody. It sucks on paper and I can't imagine sitting through that drivel on a Sunday evening.

WWE World Heavyweight Champion The NEW Daniel Bryan Danielson defeated Samoa Joe, Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles, Randy Orton, and Kofi Kingston (replacing the injuried Mustafa Ali - get well soon, kid.) in the main event Elmination Chamber match to retain the title. The match itself was alright for the most part with lots of quick teases over potential matches and a lot of nothing happening action. I did notice a lot of rope breaks in this match as well as the other chamber match, which is odd because those don't count in a chamber match... oh well.

The highlight was the closing moments when it came down to Daniel Bryan and Kofi Kingston and then it got good because holy shit, everybody was into it and everyone thought that Kofi might actually win on this night. And you know what? I'd be fine with that; people forget that Kofi Kingston was a great singles guy before he got saddled with pancakes and Booty-Os.

Alas, it was not to be, as Bryan snatched victory from the jaws of defeat to retain the title and remain champion for a short while longer. It wasn't a happy ending closing the show, but it did get me interested in a singles match between Bryan and Kofi at the next PPV if they decide to go that route. And you know what? I think they should. This was a fun segment to an otherwise decent Chamber match.

Yeah, so take my advice. Despite all the title changes on this show, the only matches worth watching here are the two chamber matches; the women's tag match to get a happy ending and the main event for that closing segment between Bryan and Kofi. The rest can fall into a dumpster fire for all I care.

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