Sunday, December 23, 2018

WWE TLC 2018

I skipped this one originally, but I've heard good things about it and checked out some of the results, so I decided to give WWE TLC a bit of watch... and when I say a bit of watch, I mean "I'll watch the important stuff and skip the rest unless something piques my interest."

R-Truth & Carmella defeated Jinder Mahal & Alicia Fox to win earn themselves No. 30 spots in their respective Royal Rumbles. This was the finals of that Mixed Match Challenge thing that I didn't watch, so I didn't care about this one whatsoever. Truth be told, this played in the background while I was doing other stuff.

Smackdown Tag-Team Champions Sheamus & Cesaro defeated the New Day to retain the titles... this was a thing that happened in the background while I was doing other stuff.

Braun Strowman (in an arm sling due to elbow surgery) defeated Baron Corbin in a "TLC" match that involved a bunch of other guys beating up on Corbin with chairs before Strowman pinned Corbin with his foot. Strowman couldn't do much obviously, so this was the only course of action they could've done that didn't involve Corbin winning... and thank fuck for that because I don't know if GM Geek Corbin is something I want to hear about.

Natalya defeated Ruby Riott in a Tables match that had tables with Jim Neidhart and Ruby Riott on them. This whole feud apparently started because Ruby broke one of Neidhart's sunglasses and everyone is supposed to care.

Finn Balor defeated Drew McIntyre with a failed assist from Dolph Ziggler in a rather ho-hum match. I'm all for that sort of big guy vs. little guy match when done well, but this was nothing special.

Rey Mysterio defeated Randy Orton in a Chairs match with a roll-up.

RAW Women's champion Ronda Rousey defeated Nia Jax via submission to retain the title. The only good thing came after the match where Becky Lynch punked out Nia in the back for that facebreaking punch the previous match. Other than that... I didn't care. Doesn't matter how good the match was - and it seemed alright to me - if you don't care about the participants, it's not going to be that special. And I really didn't care.

WWE World Heavyweight Champion the NEW Daniel Bryan defeated AJ Styles with a roll-up to retain the title. To AJ's credit, his balls were safe on this night. So after what seems like an eternity of background noise, this was the first match I paid attention to and to the shock of absolutely nobody, this was a damn fine match. Better than their Smackdown match? Probably not, but it was a good match between two high-caliber wrestlers who played their respective roles well and I actually bought into the story they were trying to tell. If there was any complaint, it felt a bit short and could've went longer but... hey, it was a good match; the first GREAT match on this show. Good stuff.

Dean Ambrose defeated Intercontinental champion Seth Rollins to win the title in a super shitty grudge match. Remember when Seth turned on the Shield and they had all those goofy matches where Ambrose was jobbing to exploding televisions and ghostly holograms? Well, good news for Dean; it was a straight wrestling match with a somewhat clean finish. Unfortunately, this was also a shitty boring wrestling match that was so bad that even the crowd hated it and even chanted how boring this was. There's bad acting from Seth with bad dialogue and I'm just wondering how the fuck people write this shit and thought this was good. How this shit got a higher spot on the card than an excellent match for the WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP... shit.

And so in the main event of this otherwise boring show, Asuka defeated Smackdown Women's Champion THE MAN Becky Lynch and Baby Flair in a TLC match to win the title that I honestly felt she should have won ages ago but didn't because WWE Creative is run by monkeys. The finish came when Cold Ronda Drowsey came out and tipped over a ladder that Flair and Becky were on, allowing Asuka to climb up and grab the belt. The women kicked ass in this match and that made it exciting and worthwhile. There was a part of me that didn't want to see Becky lose the title since she's on fire - figuratively on fire, not literally - but at least Baby Flair didn't win it and finally Asuka gets to reign as champion for a while before she drops it to... fuck, I don't know... maybe Alicia Fox or Carmella or someone equally worthless.

So that was TLC, everybody. A boring show that, to its credit, had a bunch of happy endings with some of the good guys winning, but because it's a boring show with a lot of boring, don't care matches, none of it really matters. Skip the first couple hours and see both the AJ/Bryan match as well as the main event because those are GREAT.

Good night.

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