Tuesday, September 11, 2018

WWF In Your House 4 (October 1995)

So this is it, huh? This is the terrible In Your House show that derailed the Diesel train and lead to Bret Hart winning the title the following month. And we'll get to that show next week, but first... we gotta watch this show.

Right off the bat, we're greeted with a pre-taped message from Federation president Gorilla who has stripped Shawn of the IC title due to "injuries sustained during a nightclub incident where he was assaulted by marines." Most folks in the know would like to equate this to "didn't want to do the favors and so faked an injury to get out of doing said favors" and quite frankly, I'm more likely to believe that than the marine story... But hey, Shawn would eventually get up by a marine many years later... even if it's a fake marine named John Cena.

Hunter defeated Fatu. This was very early in Hunter's run, where he was doing the blueblood thing, while Fatu went from being a Headshrinker to a hipster dude makin' a difference or whatever the case may be. Fatu would perhaps be best known these days as Rikishi, who likes to give stink face to people with his bare ass. In the meantime, we have this match where nothing of note happens and I have no real reason to care because it features two goofy character gimmicks... but hey, it's nice to say the early days of names you know, even if they do stupid shit like this.

The Smoking Gunns (future Mr. Ass Billy, and future Brawl-for-All winner/Butterbean victim Bart) defeated Razor and the 1-2-3-4-5-6-X-Kid-Pack to win the titles or retain the titles or whatever when Billy pinned Kid. Kid would swipe the titles away, but Razor convinced him to give them back to the champs. And then Kid would turn on Razor and that would be a thing. The match itself was just there and I didn't really care all that much, even with the seeds planted for the Kid turn, but it was at the very least average and that makes it the best night of the match.

Sorry if I spoiled the show for anyone, but I might as well get it out of the way.

Goldust defeated Marty Janetty in his fist match. Not a great match, but hey, it'd get better eventually. And at this point, Goldust was more gimmick than wrestler and seeing the early performances of what would be Dustin Rhodes' greatest gimmick was interesting if nothing else. Unfortunately, on a show that isn't wowing me, I'd like to have a decent match.

The match between Yokozuna and King Mabel ended in a double-countout when both guys brawled to the back. This was two big, rotund fellas... oh fuck it, this match sucked the air out of the city block and it was horrible.

So here we are; Shawn surrenders the title because he got a boo-boo from getting beat up by marines or something, none of them named John Cena. I'd shed a tear, but my allergies are catching up at the moment. Anyway, Gorilla awards Dean Douglas the IC title and then has him defend it against Razor, who's earning double pay, no doubt.

Razor beats IC champion Dean to win the title, thus bringing Douglas' illustrious 15-minute reign as champion to an embarrassing close. As much as people want to rail on John Cena ending Rey Mysterio's WWE title reign an hour or so after the guy won it, at least Rey got an hour out of that title reign and he went down fighting. Douglas didn't even get that much; he got a 15-minute reign and was made to look like a complete joke; the Frank Williams to Razor's Roddy Piper. I'm not goint point fingers on who to blame -  the only beef to be had is with Shawn having another pissy-fit - but this was such a bullshit scenario and it's no wonder why Douglas ended up being so bitter.

Diesel defeated Bulldog via DQ when Bret ran in to retain the title in a pretty horrible match. The match was so bad that Vince decided to end the Diesel experiment and have him drop the belt to Bret the following month, but that's another story for another time. This was not fun. I did not have fun watching this. Actually, I had a bit of a headache and was almost falling asleep.

After In Your House 3 gave us a strong showing, we have this show... which was terrible... and bad... and I really don't want to talk about this show anymore...

Go away, show... You deserve to die.

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