Flash Fiction #15: Mega Phasers

Mega Phasers do not exist in the Star Fleet Universe... or do they?


"Captain, long range sensors have located the presence of a Federation armada near by,"

The Orion captain grin wickedly. His lone War Destroyer had been floating around open space for several days with several successful skirmishes under his belt. He had wanted to try his hands against a Federation vessel and saw a golden opportunity to scratch that off his list of acheivements.

"What's the armada comprised of?"

"Two Cargo Freighters, three War Destroyers, and five Federation Assault Disks."

The captain's grin grew wider. The bigger the risk, the greater the rewards.

"Begin attack vector."

"But Captain, they outnumber use eight to one."

"Pfft, what are numbers to a great prize such as two freighters of cargo we can sell to the Klingons later on?" the captain said, "Besides, their Assault Disks are such fragile craft, our stolen fusion beams will take care of them quickly."

One of the Orion crew stood up. "But sir! The Federation has equipped their assault disks with mega phasers!"

The captain let out a huge laugh. "You fool! That's just silly Federation propoganda! There's no such thing as mega phasers outside of some ridiculous simulators."

"Captain!" the conn officer cried, "Assault Disks fast approaching our position! Looks like they spotted us!"

"At last," the captain bellowed, "Charge all weapons and prepare to attack the lead ship."

The crew hesitated for a moment, but the confidence of their captain pushed them onwards. Before anything could be done, the bridge shook hard and consoles exploded.

"What was that?!"

"Assault Disks fired their phasers and punched through our shields!"

"WHAT?!" the captain cried, "But THAT's IMPOSSiBLe.!!!"

"Second disk firing their phasers," one of the crew cried as the bridge exploded. "We've lost our warp drive and weapons!"

The captain looked on in disbelief before sinking to his chair. "B-But that can't be! Mega Phasers are not supposed to exist."

"Third disk firing phasers and photon torpedoes!"

"MEGA PHASERS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO---"

-o-

Jimmy took a pencil and wrote boom on his War Destroyer display sheet before crumpling the sheet and tossing it at his opponent, who merely chuckled.

"Fucking megaphasers."