Thursday, January 26, 2017

WWE Roadblock: End Of The Line 2006 (Take 2)

Didn't we already have a Roadblock show in 2016?

The answer, of course, is yes... back in March of this year, which was a WWE Network special that saw then-World champion HHH defeat Dean Ambrose to retain his title in the main event. Funny how I can remember the main event of a minor Network show, but not so much for the biggest show of the year... and yes, the write-up for that is forthcoming.

So here we are; last month's RAW offering gave us ROADBLOCK: END OF THE LINE which wins for most redundancies in a wrestling PPV title. Like the TLC show, I held off watching this live last month because it wasn't worth the effort, but since I had time to fill, I decided to give this a watch... and completely found out that I was correct in skipping this the first time.

Cesaro & Sheamus defeated Tag Champs New Day to win the titles and end the record-breaking reign of the New Day... gee, what a shock. (Read: not a shock.) You wait until the record is broken and THEN you get them beat. I wonder where I've seen this before... I guess given how entertaining and sustaining the guys at New Day were - and this is purely subjective for the most part as I grew tired of the gimmick as of late - they deserve the accolade, but had this been ten years or even five years ago, this would've felt like a pretty big deal. Now it's sorta like "meh, who gives a shit?"

Oh and the match was fine. I even like the finish where Kofi rolled up the wrong guy and got got or something. That was actually quite creative for the most part. Too bad I didn't care enough to be invested in the whole thing.

Sami Zayn "outlasts" Braun Strowman in ten minutes to win the match or something... I don't get what the point of this was. If the end result was to have been Sami getting the fluke win or something, I'd be down with that. But he just stuck around for ten minutes and that's it? Fuck this match... seriously.

Seth Rollins defeated Chris Jericho in a somewhat decent match. There's some interference from KO to continue the likely pretense that the BFFs are bickering (are you really buying into this shit?) but other than that, it was a solid enough match. It's just too bad I had little reason to care, which is why I'm not praising this like a mat classic or anything.

WWE Cruiserweight champion Rich Swann defeated Brian Kendrick and TJ Perkins to retain the title and I just don't give a shit... and then Neville shows up sporting a Spock-like beard. And it isn't long before mirror universe Neville punks out Swann or Perkins... which elicits a "Thank You Neville" chant... for the heel. Man, if that isn't a clear sign that this cruiserweight thing isn't working on the main stage, then I don't know what is.

To the surprise of absolutely fuck all, Charlotte beats Women's champ Sasha Banks in a 30-minute Tony Stark match to win the title again. Gee, what a shock. (Read: not a shock.) There's a bit of color here where Sasha is bleeding from the mouth, but I don't care. I stopped caring about anything between these two for a good long time... actually, that's a lie because I don't think I ever cared because I was never given a reason TO care. For all the history-making matches that WWE likes to tout in a short period of time between the same two fucking people, the one thing they needed - a reason to have a genuine emotional investment in these two women - is the one thing they've never provided.

And just to get it out of the way, the match was fine... never let it be said that these two can't pull off a good match together. But as far as Tony Stark matches with women go, I actually enjoyed the Bayley/Sasha Banks match that took place in the 2015 NXT Takeover show in Brooklyn a little more because I cared a little more there. There was enough action in there that I ended up being a bit invested in a match featuring two women that I was barely familiar with up to that point.

This match, on the other hand, didn't move me in the slightest... and only made me wish that these two stay as far away from each other as humanly possible for a good long time. Hopefully, Bayley and Nia Jax will keep Charlotte and Sasha busy respectively.

US champ Roman Reigns defeated Red Belt champ Kevin Owens (fuck it, I refuse to call it Universal title anymore) via disqualification when Jericho "turned on" his best buddy and gave him a codebreaker... and then raises his buddy's hand to reveal the swerve that Geordi LaForge can see coming without his VISOR or optical implants. Then Seth Rollins shows up and we have a Shield reunion beat up the best buds and stuff and I'm supposed to care... WHY exactly?

My overall thoughts on Roadblock: End Of The Waiting Line can be summed up in one rhetorical question; Who gives a shit? This is just a lame-duck PPV designed to fill time on a schedule while everyone was waiting for the next major PPV worth a damn (the Royal Rumble) to take place in January. At least TLC had SOME intriguing moments (however brief they may be), but this Roadblock PPV may as well have been an episode of RAW... just replace the Sami/Braun match with the obligatory ear rape session of Stephanie and you've got the template nailed.

A pretty worthless show, otherwise.

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