Sunday, September 20, 2015

WWE Night Of Champions 2015

So I'm watching this with something of a stomach ache and a sore throat. So I imagine that I'm in for a long night... but, in a bit of good news, Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker has been announced for next month's Hell In A Cell PPV event, so there goes my fear of having this become another Wrestlemania match that doesn't need to happen. Have it at a B-level PPV, put them in a Cell, book it as their final battle, and let 'em beat the shit out of each other to the point where I never have to see either one of them again. If even ONE of them walks out on their own power, this match will suck.

God, I'm somewhat bloodthirsty... In any event, let's get this over with.

Kevin Owens defeated Intercontinental champion Ryback with a down-and-dirty raking of the eyes and a roll-up to win the title. Well, that finish should make Jim Ross happy that a heel got to win with dirty tactics. Nice touch adding the shoulder injury in there and making it seem like a key part of the match. All in all, this was a fun opening content and I'm happy to see my fellow Quebecois win a major title in WWE. So far, we're off to a great start.

Dolph Ziggler defeated Rusev when Summer Rae (who seems destined to be the eternal "sloppy seconds" Diva in WWE) threw a fit and ended up throwing a shoe at Rusev, which allowed Ziggler to score a ZigZag and the pin... don't worry, Ru. Hulk Hogan once jobbed to a shoe... wait, he don't exist no more, doesn't it? I suppose this wasn't too bad, but it felt like it went on forever and I lost interest after a while. Please let this be the end of it. Bad enough we needed to endure bad acting from Lana before she got hurt, but the last thing we need is more bad acting from... everybody.

The Dudley Boyz defeated WWE Tag-Team Champions The New Day via DQ when Xavier Woods jumped in. New Day retain the titles as a result. My guess is they're probably going to have a rematch somewhere down the line... maybe next PPV or something. As long as the rematch turns out to be as good as this match was, I've no complaints... also, major props to Xavier Wood's trombone playing. He should stick with that from now on.

Oh boy, they're talking about the #LOLDivasRevolution... I guess it's time for a pissbreak, right? I mean, for fuck's sake, they're really treating this like a thing people give a shit about, aren't they? I suppose if they really cared, the four Divas that really mattered would be n the upcoming video game... oops.

So Charlotte defeats Divas champion Nikki Bella to win the title and end the wretchedly bloated reign of the world's most undeserving plastic-boobed bimbo... as if it means anything at this point. I mean, seriously... what's the point? Charlotte had her chance on Monday and blew it. A few days after Nikki got the record reign (a move that I firmly believe was to spite the former record holder's husband), Charlotte finally gets the big win and I'm like... so what? I guess from what little I paid attention to of the match, it was alright... might've been one of the better Divas matches in a while... I'd like to believe that... if I cared enough... but I didn't care, so I can't believe that.

So I guess we can count down the days before Eva Marie shows up and wins the title in a couple months or so... because it's not about diva revolutions or some corporate bullshit buzzwords like that. It's all about teh Total Divas... and as long as THAT show exists, a "revolution" in the truest sense of the word is never going to happen

Oh well... back to not caring about the Divas division unless it's on NXT.

Oh look, Ric Flair's in the house... I wonder if he's gonna turn on Sting... because god forbid we haven't seen that in a while. (Spoiler Alert: He doesn't... not that it would've mattered.)

The Wyatt Family defeated Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and mystery partner Chris Jericho, whose sole purpose was to job to the new guy whose name I don't remember... can't complain, actually. If it were a new guy, I probably would... but Jericho has been used mostly to "put over" others that this doesn't bother me. For what this was, it was alright. Nothing special, but alright.

John Cena defeated U.S. Champion Seth Rollins to win the title for the fifth time. Well, that was disappointing. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised (and I wasn't) but it would've been interesting to see Seth win here... setting that aside, those guys put on a great showing on par or better than their Summerslam match. Whether you approve the ending or not, at least the match went way above and beyond what you'd expect.

WWE Champion Seth Rollins defeated Sting to retain the title... Hey, look... all things considered, I expected a hell of a lot worse and this was actually alright. There was a moment where doctors were looking at Sting and they were gonna have to do some shit ending, but Seth won with a roll-up and there's nothing wrong with that. (Update: Turns out Sting might have suffered a legit injury during that corner bomb bit.)

All in all, not that bad of a match, and Sting actually looked good out there and looked like he gave a damn. Didn't surprise me that Sting didn't go over here, but I actually wouldn't have minded it... shocking. Amazing that Sting could have a decent match with Seth, but with McSon-In-Law... well... I could blame McSon-In-Law for that fail of a match.

Wait a minute... here comes Sheamus... wait a minute... here comes Kane... wait a minute... Kane chokeslammin' Seth... wait a minute... Kane tombstonin' Seth... wait a minute... it's gonna be Seth vs. Kane, isn't it?

Where's that image? Oh, here it is...

You know what, though? I have little cause to complain about this show. Couple title changes, handful of good matches, a couple returns, near cash-in, and a showcase of what Seth Rollins could do if given the chance and he brought the house down... All in all, this was a far better show than it had any business being and I enjoyed it. So there.

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