Sunday, August 2, 2015

So How Many People Last Night Blew Sixty Bucks For A Fake Fight?

A buddy of mine sent me an e-mail about last night's UFC card; something about another Ronda Rousey quick win or something like that. He mentioned something about how much of a piss off it was to have to pay sixty bucks for such a short main event. (Because clearly, nobody cares about the undercard, it seems.)

My simple reply to him was a question that could be applicable to anyone with the same reaction: "What did you expect from a fake fight?"

That's right, Dana. I just called your $60 main event match featuring your prize fighter a fake fight.

While UFC officials and MMA enthusiasts triumph over another "history making" Rousey victory, I'm the outsider who sees this main event farce for what it is; another in a long line of main event matches featuring Dana White's main moneymaker making short work of a supposed "contender" who has NO BUSINESS WHATSOEVER being a contender. Then again, I suppose it's no surprise considering how protected Rousey happens to be. This isn't a knock on Rousey herself - she seems like a pretty swift brute - but treating last night's win as though she beat the moon in a hard fought bout is a fallacy. Dare I say that any semblance or notion of "history being made" at last night's special attraction is faker than professional wrestling.

This isn't a new thing or anything. It's been done in other full-contact sports promotions throughout the annals of time; a promoter gets a hot moneymaking prospect on hand, this hot property wins the world championship, and in an effort to keep the eventual money train rolling, the promoter then books this new champion against other "contenders" whose sole purpose is to be outclassed and outmatched by the champ in an effort to make the champ look good. And in the event that there IS a true contender to the champ's title, who COULD give the champ that real challenge and that real fight that the champ has been lacking, then the promoter will do whatever it takes to keep the two apart, for fear that if the champ is dethroned in a somewhat decisive fashion, then there goes that money train.

Now, if I didn't know any better, that sounds like something out of the pro wrestling playbook. But surely, that can't be it, right? After all, pro wrestling is that "fake shit" where people pretend to fight. This was a REAL fight with REAL fighters. Not at all the same thing, right?

Yeah, well, keep telling yourselves that, kids. I'm sure it'll come true eventually. Maybe you'll actually believe that CM Punk will get a credible opponent for his first fight, rather than a jabroni who's just there to make Punk look good.

This wasn't a real fight. This wasn't even a fake wrestling match. IT'S SPORTS-ENTERTAINMENT.

Nobody goes into wrestling thinking they'll see a real fight. I think those who actually believe it as such is very minute. Wrestling isn't a real fight; it's a performance, it's a male soap opera, it's theatrics, it's choreography, it's storytelling, it's playfighting. It's a form of entertainment that you either get or you don't.

Full-contact sports - whether it'd be boxing, MMA, catch wrestling, whatever - is two guys or two gals beating the shit out of each other to see who is the better fighter. So you expect to see a fight. If someone goes down quickly, it's a feat, to say the least. But if it becomes a regular thing, you start to question if there's any legitimacy to the matches in question. Is it a case of one fighter being outclassed by the other and is simply the sacrificial lamb? Or is it a case of match fixing, where one fighter is told to put on a good show before taking a fall for the other fight?

That's the general gist of this whole Rousey affair.

The truly sad thing is that this farce of a main event no doubt cheapens the undercard, featuring matches between two fighters on equal ground and skill, battling tooth and nail to see who is the better combatant. This sort of pampering, paper main event cheapens the men and women who train their asses off to climb to the top of the mountain, to prove to the world that they're the best fighters in the world, but will probably never get that shot because that would mean a match with the champ and the possibility of that champ falling down and hard.

Ronda Rousey's on a roll. Her run on paper is impressive. She's practically queen of the proverbial hill. But calling her quick victories real fights or history making? Please.

People payed sixty dollars for a UFC Pay-Per-View to see a main event "real" fight.

Those people ended up getting sports-entertainment instead.

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