Monday, September 22, 2014

WWE Night Of Champions 2014

Alright... it's time for some quick thoughts on Night Of Champions and perhaps even some touching on to the aftermath. I didn't catch the live showing, but I did have it PVR'd and so that's what I'm watching.

So we open with an admittedly cool little intro showing the making of the current WWE Title belt intercut with past champions, before cutting to montages of the show feuds and having a shitty song play in the background.

Goldust & Stardust defeated the Usos to win the Tag-Team Titles... not a bad match, but wasn't really feeling it until the tail end of it and I had a hard time wondering who I was supposed to cheer for, because when the Dust brothers won, they got a nice face reaction, but they were supposedly bad guys and... I don't know. Also, there was talk about Cosmic Keys and Power Cosmic and... what?

By the way, can I just mention how absolutely obnoxious the product placement for Mountain Dew is? That shit is everywhere, man. It's disgustingly bad... but I guess Mugs Root Beer had no interest in sponsoring this show and Mountain Dew is cool with the kids for some reason.

Sheamus defeated Cesaro to retain the United States Championship in a pretty straight-up guys-hitting-each-other match. Not much to say about this one. It was perfectly acceptable foreigners beating the shit out of each other and it was perfectly fine.

The Miz defeated Dolph Ziggler to win back the IC Title... yeah, that didn't last long. And on top of that, the match sucked. Even worse, you had shitty commentary focused on the musical guests that nobody outside of WWE would honestly care about or even heard of.

Seth Rollins decides that, because Roman Reigns got a hernia, he should get an automatic win via forfeit. Sound logic since they never officially cancelled the match. Rollins decides to challenge and then Dean Ambrose shows up in a cab and gets the loudest reaction of the night. Well, good to see Ambrose back from shooting another shitty mo- I mean, injury. And nice to see another non-match between these two... you know what? Roman Reigns can take a bit more time off because we've got Dean Ambrose to save us from mediocrity.

Rusev defeated Mark Henry in a "Who Gives A Shit" match... there, that's my reaction. Who gives a shit?

Randy Orton defeated Chris Jericho in a so-so match. Not a bad note for Jericho to end his current stint on and Orton delivers his usual goods in a way that didn't put me to sleep for once, so kudos there. In any case, Chris Jericho can take some much needed time off because we've got Dean Ambrose to save us from mediocrity.

AJ Lee defeated Paige and some other chick who didn't matter to win back the Divas title... is Vince Russo booking this thing? This seems a lot like his style to hotshot the title every month. Unfortunately, it's not Mankind vs The Rock doing the hotshotting in somewhat interesting matches, but rather two chicks I care nothing about and another that nobody seems to care about. I'll let you decipher that one for yourself.

And in the main event, John Cena defeated WWE World Heavyweight Champion Brock Lesnar via disqualification due to outside interference from Seth Rollins who attempted a cash-in and was then cancelled out by John Cena. Well, it was a step up at least, with Cena getting a bit more offense and the match nowhere close to being filled with worthless suplexes, but ultimately this was nowhere near the brutal fight that had been hyped and anticipated. Brock Lesnar's ass didn't get beat; in fact, Brock Lesnar's ass didn't so much as make an appearance in the show, leaving Cena to try and deliver finishers for Brock to kick out of and things of that nature. It just seems like this was an attempt to bring Brock down to Cena's level and almost make him another one of those odds that were overcomed by John Cena.

On a whole... not a great show. Probably not worth the 9.99 they keep pushing down your throats and most definitely not worth the full 50-60 bucks to buy on PPV. Nothing of note will be remembered... other than Dean Ambrose making his return from making a shit movie to save us from mediocrity.

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