Wednesday, April 14, 2010

IMPACT (April 12th, 2010): Well, It Didn't Suck

In what seems like a pleasant bit of good news, this week's Impact wasn't a complete shitshow.

We open the show with Jarrett going up to the rafters so he can beat up Sting. Finally, somebody figured out how to get up there. Now Sting has to find some other holdout to hide in... maybe the Impact Zone has an underground sewer system he can escape to or something. Then we've got the nWo DA BAND prevailing over the Dudleyz and Jesse Neil Young with Syxx-Pack doing a Super High Facebuster on Bubba after Bubba got low-blowed. And that Eric Young fellow challenged Nash to a cage fight. Yay.

There was a pretty fun Kaz/Shannon Moore match that saw the cameras cut to the announcers who were chuckling over some doofus with them. Match ended in a draw. Oh well. After some more promos I skipped, we got a women's match that started off as a "bra & panties" match or whatever turned "I Quit" match turned everyone runs in, match gets thrown out FUCK FINISH. FUCK YOUR FUCKING FUCK FINISHES, YOU STUPID FUCKERS!

Matt Morgan and Amazing Red defeated The Machine Guns when Red hit Chris Sabin with the code red for the pinfall win. Morgan is so happy about his team winning the match that he beats up his partner. Hey, I said this wasn't a complete shitshow. I never said that this show wasn't shit. And the main event was Robert Roode beating Jeff Hardy after Matt Morgan "threw" a fireball in Jeff's face... or at least, that's what they told us because the shot froze before the deed was done. Don't know if this is a satellite issue on my end or TNA just fucked up. More than likely, they fucked up.

That's all I've got. Off to bed.

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