Oh, lookie. Some thoughts on a TNA PPV that took place this past weekend. Big props to my buddy Sean for inviting me over to watch the show, because god knows I'm clamoring to spend money on this hackney promotion... then again, Destination X usually... wait, never mind.
It took me a while, but I found my notes for this show;
- Kazarian defeated (Christopher) Daniels, Amazing Red, and some other jabronie in a ladder match to determine the No. 1 Contender to the X-Division Championship. This was pretty standard X-Division with lots of high-flying, fast-paced, and hard-hitting action. A good way to get the show rolling for the most part.
- TNA Knockouts Champion Tara (the former Victoria in WWE) defeated Daffney to retain the title in a perfectly acceptable wrestling match. Daffney then steals Tara's spider because... something, I guess.
- TNA Legends/Global/Whatever The Fuck It's Called This Week Champion ROB TERRY defeated BRUTUS MAGNUS in a quick match that lasted longer than my bathroom break.
- The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin) defeated Generation Me (Jeremy and Max Buck) in an Ultimate X match... Ultimate X matches are usually spectacles of high-flying endeavors and this certainly lived up to that. Thrilling stuff.
- There was a thing going on where Eric Young is getting beat up by Hall, Nash, and Waltman... there's that feeling, again. The good ol' "Why the fuck am I watching this shit" feeling is back and better than ever... Fuck this company.
- X-Division Champion Doug Williams defeated Shannon Moore to retain the title in what I'd diplomatically call a complete waste of fucking goddamn time... and that was putting it diplomatically.
- TNA Tag-Team Champions Hernandez and Matt Morgan defeated Beer Money, Inc. (James Storm and Robert Roode) to retain the titles. This was a thing that happened.
- Kurt Angle defeated Ken Anderson via submission in a really boring match. I didn't think a match with Kurt Angle and the former Mr. Kennedy would be boring, but there you go.
- The main event between TNA World Champion AJ Styles and Abyss ends in a no-contest when Abyss chokeslams AJ through the ring. And then a bunch of old man come out to mace each other or something. Fuck this company.
If you're going to watch this show, stop after the Ultimate X match because everything after that falls off a clip and sucks a billion dicks. Up until that point, however, the show had promise... but it's TNA and promise was made to be broken, beaten, and battered into little tiny bits.
Fuck this company. And fuck Sean for the invite.
I wish I stayed home.
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