IMPACT (March 8th, 2010): Not Enough of An Impact

Yes, this past Monday, rather than watching two hours of WWE RAW building up towards the climatic Cena vs. McMahon match (that sucked), I decided to give TNA the benefit of the doubt and tune in to their debut episode of Monday Nitro... er, I mean, Monday Night Impact.

(The above statement is a bit of a contradiction, as I had posted RAW thoughts on Tuesday, thus having clearly seen it. Maybe I caught the replay? I honestly can't remember.)

Unsurprisingly, Impact pulled a 1.0 rating while WWE pulled a 3.x rating. So much for the war, huh?

But what about the show itself? Surely, TNA must have learned from their fiasco on January 4 (their first Monday show) and produced a much better show, right? Surely, they have come up with the best possible card to steal away WWE's massive audience... right?





WRONG.

Some quick thoughts, in no particular order:

- So they tease the giveaway of the Hogan/Abyss vs Flair/Styles main event at the start of the show... then Sting makes his return and beats up the good guys (that would be Hogan/Abyss) and Flair/Styles join in. Hogan then declares they'll have a match with No-DQs or something. And of course, Hogan/Abyss win that match with Jeff Hardy later making his return to TNA... two months after making his return to TNA... WHAT THE FUCK?

- And oh yeah, whenever he gets the chance, Abyss shows off his WWE Hall of Fame ring... in your dreams, Abyss.

- RVD makes his "long-awaited" debut by beating Sting in a quick match... and then Sting beats up RVD for 10 minutes before getting into a scuffle with Hulk Hogan. Way to push your new signee, guys. FUCKING GENIUS.

- Doug Williams retained his X Division title over Christopher Daniels and Kazarian in a pretty decent match. Quite possibly the only real highlight in the entire show, which is a disappointment because it shows how much these guys really figure into the equation when they're being pushed aside to make time for the old farts. Of course, Bischoff soonafter declares that Williams will defend his title against Shannon Moore, who still has that stupid punk look to him... meh, it's better than 3 Count or Mattitude, I guess.

- Some ladies wrestle for some tag titles or something. I really don't pay too much attention... but if it's any consolation, these women can actually put on a watchable match, which is more than I can say for the interchangeable Barbie dolls calling themselves Divas.

- So when Jeff Jarrett isn't flipping burgers or cleaning bathrooms, he's having horrible matches with Beer Money. If you can even call it a match...

- Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman discuss a match at a PPV... I dose off.

I mean, seriously... THIS is what TNA pulls out of their collective asses for Monday Night Dominance? THIS is the best you've got?

This show sucked. It sucked major, major ass.

And the really sad thing? This ISN'T the last time we're going to see Hogan in the ring... not by a fucking long shot.

So next week, Stone Cold Steve Austin is guest-hosting RAW. Yeah, I'm going to stick with RAW. I'd rather sit through the same, boring shit than two hours of mishandled garbage.

TNA has great talent there... they just have no fucking clue how to use it.

At all.

Later.