IMPACT (March 29th, 2010): This Can't Get Any Worse, Can It?

So Wrestlemania has come and gone, Shawn Michaels wrestled his last match and was given a hero's farewell on RAW. Meanwhile, TNA saw Mick Foley get fired and he got his hero's moment by punching out that fat fuck Bubba as a shoot. Good for you, Mick. Sadly, Bubba is still on my TV. I guess he could take a punch better than Stan could take a kick.

The only thing that would've made Bubba's KO better is if Awesome Kong was the one delivering the killing blow.

Besides that, the show opens with Hulk Hogan booking Jeff Jarrett in a match against AJ Styles. Apparently, Hogan has forgiven Jarrett for that El-Kabong he gave him in Japan a few years back. Out goes Jarrett and in comes Jay Lethal in full "Black Machismo" mode, which impresses Hogan enough that he calls him Macho Man, 'cuz it feels right. Gotta admit that bit was funny. Good job, Impact. You gave me a chuckle.

The fun doesn't last, however. because out comes the nWo DA BAND with Bubba. He talks a bit... actually, you know what? Fuck it. I'm not watching this show...

Maybe fast forward a bit... see if anything interesting happens.

Tara and Daffney in a first blood match for the women's title... well, they ain't doing this shit on RAW, that's for sure. I actually quite enjoyed this one; almost reminds me of that hardcore Tara/Victoria had with Trish Stratus at that one PPV years ago. In the end, Tara hits Daffney with a toolbox to make her bleed and Tara retains the title. Good for her.

TNA Champ AJ Styles going up against Jeff Jarrett... and wins. AJ seemed to have cut his hand at some point, looks pretty bad... you know what? I'm glad I skipped a large part of this show because this seems to be where the good stuff is at.

Jay Lethal vs. Beer Money in a handicap match... after a bit of action, Lethal rolls up Roode for the pinfall win, shocking Uncle Eric in the back. Eh, could be worse, I guess.

There's a promo bit between Kurt Angle and Mr. Anderson inside some kind of steel cage; using a combination of chain links and steel beams. It's a different look, I'll give them that much. Anyway, they banter back and forth before Anderson admits he's an asshole... and apparently, that's his new thing. He's an asshole. If that's his only selling point, we're all fucked.

And then there's a six-man where Hardy, RVD, and Eric Young beat the nWo DA BAND in a six-man cage match. Yippee.

That's the end of the show. Apparently, I skipped an awful Samoa Joe segment and Orlando Jordan doing whatever the fuck Orlando Jordan usually does these days. Probably for the best that I skip the garbage going forward. But what if the next episode is nothing but garbage?