WWE Hell In A Cell 2009

For the original PPV Predictions page that were originally posted here, click here.

So, WWE has gone off the deep end with these stipulation-themed pay-per-views as of late. First it was Breaking Point, where the main events were all either submission matches or I Quit matches. And now WWE has decided to have a Hell In A Cell PPV, where you're guaranteed multiple HIAC matches in one night. So rather than being this "last

Like the previous PPV, only the top matches are worthy of being held in the Cell, with the rest being the usual matches.



Undertaker defeated World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk via submission in the first Hell In A Cell match of the night to win the title. First bad sign; the Cell felt superfluous and unnecessary in what was otherwise a straightforward albeit one-sided brawl. And this felt like the safest Cell match that I've seen. As a straight match, it was okay, even if I didn't care for Taker winning the title. As a Cell match, however, it was extremely underwhelming.

Intercontinental champion John Morrison defeated Dolph Ziggler to retain the title in a pretty enjoyable match with some bits and some casting of doubt as to where this match could end up. 

Divas champion Mickey James defeated Alicia Fox to retain the title. A complete waste of time that served as the proverbial piss break.

Tag Team champions Big Show and Chris Jericho defeated Batista and Rey Mysterio to retain the titles. Two teams of one big guy paired with one little guy go at it and have a fun little match. Jericho hides behind show while Rey doesn't... and that ends up getting his lights clocked by Show. A really fun match.

Randy Orton defeated WWE Champion John Cena in the second Cell match of the night to win the title. You've seen one Cena/Orton match, you've pretty much seen them all and this one was no exception to the formula. Not a bad showing, but again, the Cell feels completely pointless here as it added nothing to the match.

Drew McIntyre defeated R-Truth in a match too short for me to care. Lame.

U.S. Champion Kofi Kingston defeated the Miz and Jack Swagger in a Triple Threat match to retain the title. This was a thing that happened, which is probably the nicest thing I could say about a match that did nothing for me, but wasn't totally worthless. A shame because Kofi deserves better than this. (Update: Miz would win the title the next night on RAW.)

DX defeated Legacy in the final Cell match of the night. I like that Cody and Ted Jr. ambushed DX during their entrance and basically locked HHH for a good chunk of the match; I thought that was a nice touch. Once HHH makes it inside the Cell after about fifteen minutes of acting like an idiot before eventually producing bolt cutters to let himself in, it does lose a bit of its luster due to the ending being a no-brainer, nothing really happens to dissuade the audience from believing otherwise, and also the lack of color (blood) defangs the whole concept in general, but otherwise, this was a pretty good main event.

You know what? I can't complain too much about this one; the non-Cell matches were a mixed bag with more good stuff than bad. The three Cell matches, on the other hand, were somewhat underwhelming stuff and given the current family-friendly PG-rated environment WWE is aiming towards, proved how much less of an imposing figure the gimmick is going forward. Still, there were some good stuff to be found here and it wasn't a complete waste.