DTM BLOG Classics #40: Unforgiven 2008 BEFORE and AFTER

(2019 Update: This compilation features two posts regarding WWE's Unforgiven PPV, which featured three things of note; the end of CM Punk's first World title reign without him ever doing the job, the debut of the "Championship Scramble" gimmick match that hurts my brain, and the sad realization that I didn't really missed the PPV; I just skipped it. Oh well...)

BEFORE (September 6th, 2008)
For sixty minutes, fifteen men will compete in three matches. We'll see if anyone cares for that amount of time. In any case... the Unforgiven PPV introduces WWE audiences to the Scramble match. The rules are... too headache-inducing for me to repeat, so I'll just copy and paste them from WWE.com:

The rules for the Championship Scramble are simple: Two randomly selected ring warriors will start the match, with a new challenger stepping in every five minutes. If a man scores a pinfall or submission on any other in the match, he is declared the "interim" champion – though he will not be historically recognized as such. The title can change hands as many times as necessary throughout the bout, and the Superstar to earn the final pinfall or submission within the 20-minute time limit will be officially declared the Champion.

So did you get all that? Good, because I sure as hell didn't. But that's okay, because WWE is willing to push this type of match as something new and innovative instead of just time-filler to give a shitload of guys something to do for the PPV so hard that they're giving you not ONE Scramble match... but NOT TWO Scramble matches... but THREE Scramble matches! All in one night! Unbelievable!

It's like puking on a pile of shit in a puddle of piss.

So anyway, let's just forget about the predictions because I honestly don't give ten shits about HHH's title match that he's obviously going to win or the end of the CM Punk title reign or the continuation of Mark Henry's charity title reign as well as the continued burial of Matt Hardy. I don't particularly care for Dibiase/Rhodes retaining their titles against Cryme Tyme nor do I care about the Divas championship. You know what? Who gives a shit about all that?

Because in the end, it's about one match.

Now yes, I'll be the first to admit that I get a little pissy when two guys have been having matches on a monthly basis and it gets to a point where they should really move on... but truth be told, I'm digging this Chris Jericho/Shawn Michaels feud. It's actually the only reason I tune in to RAW these days. It's actually a genuinely good story filled with bitterness and what is sold as legitimate hatred between the two (but we all know these guys love each other). There hasn't been a more compelling storyline in WWE in fucking years than what these guys are doing together.

So yeah, let these guys kill each other. They do such a great job at it and it makes us happy. Good enough that it could very well work outside of a wrestling environment (not recommended). Congrats to Chris and Shawn for a good show... keep up the good work.

So yeah, I was supposed to do predictions... maybe next time. I think I'll sit back and enjoy the kick-ass feud... and cook some scrambled eggs.

G'night.

AFTER (September 8th, 2008)
For those who care, here are the results of the Unforgiven PPV from last night. No witty comments because I missed the PPV.

Matt Hardy wins the ECW Scramble to become ECW Champion.

Ted Dibiase/Cody Rhodes defeat Cryme Tyme to retain the Tag Titles.

Chris Jericho defeats Shawn Michaels when Shawn wouldn't stop beating on Jericho.

Michelle McCool beats... random ho to retain the Butterfly Belt.

Triple H wins... again.

CM Punk... doesn't even wrestle in the main event. Wow, that's harsh. It's bad enough he lost the title, but they don't even let him compete on top of that. Bullshit.

So your new world champ is... replacement Chris Jericho.

Wow.

Must check out PPV.