Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Classic Bite Commentary: September 23rd, 2008

(2018 Update: Replaced an older post with an even older Bite commentary.)

Welcome to another Bite commentary. As you could probably tell, the commentary series is no longer THE BITE REBORN, but just THE BITE. Not a huge change, but what's the point? It's been around for a couple years now and yet it's still reborn. So anyway, let's get on with some quick shit.

So everyone is up in arms over the US Presidental Election. A fierce battle between Republican candidate and potential Bush successor John McCain and Democratic candidate Barrack Obama. Obama is a charismatic guy, while McCain is old. Obama is some senator from who knows where as a running mate, while McCain has some chick from Alaska for a running mate... who likes GUNS. Really exciting stuff... that is, it would have been exciting if I had cared... but of course I don't.

Meanwhile, over in our side of the border, good ol' Stephen Harper (the Canadian PM with the nice toupee) decides that HE wants in on all the election madness and dissolves his minority government to hold a general election in a little under a month, hence setting one of the shortest campaigns for office in history... and despite attack ads and pooping puffins, I still don't care. But I can tell you how I will care... have a monkey run for office. No, seriously. Have a monkey run for office and watch as he racks up all the votes to gain the majority government that Harper wants so badly. There's a better chance that monkey will get that majority than the rest of these yahoos will.

Okay, so that's my brief political commentary forever. Let's catch up on some crap, shall we?

No, I have yet to catch a single episode of Jungle Fury. I think that after Operation Overdrive, my patience for anything Power Rangers produced by Bruce Kalish has been extinguished by a series of unnecessary explosive effects, rehashed Sentai plots, and lasers galore. Some would argue I have no right to complain, but that's what I get paid to do. I don't get paid to watch the show and have an informed opinion, just like Kalish isn't paid to come up with original stories for his Japanese stock footage. With that having been said, I do have plans to continue the fanfics for the most part... I know, I've said it often. But sometimes it's worse than A.D.D... my attention doesn't stay put for too long.

Not much TV being watched, although I did manage to sneak a viewing of RAW for about five minutes. Man, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually starting to miss John Cena. RAW absolutely has nothing going for it. It's like they just moved HHH to another show and suddenly nobody cares about the flagship show. It's just dull... on the other hand, I'm really starting to enjoy Flashpoint. Despite being one of those people who can't stand CSI or its ilk, Flashpoint is starting to grow on me. It's got that element that makes me want to keep watching even if nothing remotely happens. Recommended show for anyone looking something good on TV.

According to this article and the proceeding video (which you can check out here), Jake "The Snake" has gone bonkers after sipping a few drinks or twenty. Normally, I'd say that this is mildly funny and amusing, but after watching that vid, I almost find it sad that he'd turn out this way... maybe he should quit while he's still... um, yeah.

And you know what the funny thing is? Apparently, this is the same guy who had posted a very detailed analysis of last week's RAW on his MySpace blog. It absolutely boggles the mind on how he could have gone from fine-tuned commentaries on the net to hanging your dick out at a benefit wrestling event.

Just go away, Jake. As a favor to all of us and as a favor to yourself. You've done everything you could have ever done in the business, now it's time to step aside before you become even more of a joke and embarrassment. We already have a joke of the industry walking God's green Earth: his name is Hulk Hogan.

You know what? I don't know why I try sometimes... but I tried getting into Final Crisis. I really wanted to give this story a chance, but I just can't. Darkseid rules the world? Didn't Darkseid fucking die in that Countdown shit? Please, go back to one single DC Universe and let all this Crisis Crap be one long overdone Elseworlds project because I just can't deal with this shit anymore. Please stop hurting my brain. Pretty please? I'm begging you, man. PLEASE STOP THE FUCKING MADNESS.

Enough already...

So there has been a thin layer of demand from people (yes, the two of you) who are wondering what the fuck is going on with the fanfics. Let's be honest; I haven't been keeping up. I just recently bought a second NES and that's been keeping me busy somewhat... yes, it's a front-loader... yes, it works... and YES, IT CAME IN A BOX! The only reason I bought was because it came with the original box, Mario, an vintage NES controller, and a vintage NES MAX controller, which sweetens the deal in my opinion. I never used the MAX before - I had tried the NES Advantage arcade stick - but I kinda like the sliding disc format, even if it's just a fancier way of styling the D-Pad... but whatever.

Oh yeah... so about the fanfiction. I'll have something to say about that in a couple weeks. In the meantime, stay tuned.


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