Tuesday, April 22, 2008

When? You Mean You Didn't Know...?

At an undisclosed press junket, Marvel editor-in-chief Joe Quesada sat before a bunch of random journalists and field questions.

"So, Joe," one reporter asked. "Marvel has all these overblown event storylines coming up? When do you suppose Marvel will go back to normal stories not requiring extensive readings?"

"You mean when are our books going to suck again," Quesada joked.

The quip got a bit of chuckle from the audience before another reporter spoke out. "You know it's funny you'd say that because I kinda thought the books were already sucking since Civil War. Brand New Day? World War Hulk? Red Hulk? Another fucking Skrull storyline? What the hell, man? Whatever happened to the good old days of Marvel when you weren't fucking with the status quo?"

The question raised some boos, and Quesada answered that "At the end of the day, what it means to me, is that our stuff is so compelling that you want to get it. My job and Dan's job and all our jobs here are to make you want to buy everything we put out."

"But that's the thing," another reporter asked. "Your stuff isn't that compelling now. In fact, your stuff is so fucking boring and terrible that it's not even worth pirating. How does that make you feel about producing shitty-ass stories charging people five bucks a pop to suffer through incredible stories such as Bucky as Captain America or Marvel Apes? Marvel Fucking Apes? Are you a fucking moron, man?!"

Fine. Fine. I'll just give my money to DC.

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