Tuesday, January 1, 2008

The Winners And Losers Of 2007

Original Posting Date: January 1, 2008
DTM Blog Post No. 692

Not gonna bother with the weekly format since it's been shot to death... so here's 2007. Tread carefully and you might spot possible return entrants in the 2011 list.

Contains references to sensitive subject matter. Discretion is advised.

And so as we kiss 2007 good-bye and send it on a trip to the retirement home, we look back on some of the good and bad events that have shaped this less-than-great year. If you were around for my 2005/2006 in Review post, you'll notice that there are a few repeat offenders in this list in addition to some new ones and some of the repeats have changed their position as of late. And because of recent personal developments, I'm feeling a little black and white this year, so there's no middle ground. Just the year's winners and losers.

A word of warning: the following are my picks and my picks only. Nobody else chose these for me, nobody influenced my decision. It's based on my own personal opinions. Also, unlike the 2005 and 2006 posts, this one's being written in advanced. Which means certain references might be outdated by the time this actually sees post.

Some good stuff has happened to or involving these particular targets during 2007. This list is terribly short.

Earlier this year, Screwattack got into a deal with MTV's Gametrailer sites to produce some videos for them. Nice of them to get paid for doing stuff they like. Congrats to Craig, Tom, and James for this tremendous step up... and oh yeah, they got some good vids up. So let this be a good transition to another related winner...

I really don't care for their usual programs, but their occasional Top 10 shows and Retrospective specials are informative, witty, and never gets boring. It's a worthwhile site to visit and you'll probably find something you'll like there.

(2011 Update: Both sites have long since lost their luster with me. Not even the Nerd vids hold a candle.)

After a craptastic first film, FF returns with a spiffy sequel that is actually quite good. And it's rated PG to boot! Who says you can't have good clean superhero fun at the movies? Oh yeah, all the other superhero franchises who decide to be all emo and moody. Even frickin' Superman was turned moody for no reason whatsoever. Only downside to this flick: no Galactus.

(2011 Update: I seemed to be in the minority, as most people hate the FF flicks. It's been a while since I saw them... I may have to revisit them in the future.)

This seems to be the only channel I watch these days, as it features a wide range of wrestling, boxing, and MMA. For the most part, I can catch TNA shows, ROH shows, and some other wrestling shows. Even some of the MMA stuff they show is actually pretty cool, although it won't make me much of a convert. And did I mention they've got the best disclaimers in the world? If you're bored to tears with the current WWE product and can get this channel, do so. It's the best money you'll ever get.

A YouTuber that reviews crappy games. Sounds familiar? While the model seems to be ripped from the Angry Video Game Nerd videos, Chris Bores has a unique style of his own, as he will occasionally review some decent games (his Tetris video is one of those examples) and doesn't really go overboard with his videos - instead keeping them simple save for a few brief scenes where he destroys the reviewed game in some fashion or another. Worth checking out if you have the chance.

(2011 Update: Amazing nobody cried foul on this entry considering Bores' dubiously controversial reputation. I'm amazed I'd even put him ANYWHERE on the list, let alone in the Winners bracket. But then again, I did find humor in idiot gamer sucking at a game, crying foul, and calling it a review. But yeah, this is one choice I definitely would have left off the list... maybe he'll be on this year's list.)

Another YouTuber by the name of Dr. Ashens has started his own series of video reviews, specializing on rare and obscure electronic crap such as the knockoff Popstation and Neo-Double Games handhelds that are made in China and are barely functioning. It took me a week to get through all of his videos, but they're as funny as heck and they warrant a mention here. Nicely done, chap.

Created a third-hand console in the FC Twin system that plays (most) NES and Super NES games. Wow! Two formats on the same console (three if you have the Super Game Boy) is a pretty sweet deal and is certainly a better alternative to spending five hundred bucks worth of hardware to re-buy games you already own off the Virtual Console.

(2011 Update: The fucker still works too... worthwhile system indeed.)

While the show has been showing signs of stagnation, the movie is a thankfully relaxing breath of fresh air. Yeah, you have some of the usual gags here and there, but it's a funnier flick and the bigger budget really gives the movie that grand scope. Nothing that couldn't have been done on the small screen, but it's definitely big-screen worthy material, so it works.

Despite wearing a sling, he still managed to go to Iraq and kick Vince's ass. Sweet stuff.

(2011 Update: Yes, kids. John Cena was a Year Winner in my list. The last time it ever happened.)

If we're going to have winners, we'll have to have losers. And man, those losers were numerous.

Around June 2007, former WWE/WCW World champion Chris Benoit murdered his wife and child before committing suicide. Before that knowledge was known, WWE quickly cancelled their RAW show and put together a three-hour tribute to Benoit. A lot of blame was placed on drugs - which really - but it was clear that regardless of whether drugs played a role or not, the incident had brought about major repurcussions throughout the industry, including potential hearings in Congress. The WWE - obviously - has yet to make any drastic changes in their system, choosing instead to ignore the event and move on, but with said hearings looming in the distance and the later Signature Pharmacy bust that resulted in the suspension of several WWE wrestlers named in the scandal, you could tell the product was being affected. This is the only time I'm going to discuss the matter, so please respect my wishes and don't comment about it.

Vince McMahon steps into a limo which explodes seconds later, bringing RAW to a stupid end. The resulting shows were to built around who did in Mr. MacMan, but was abruptly ended due to the horrific events involving Benoit... which is probably a good thing because there was no way that could end well either way. As we would later discover, McMahon showed up and claimed he faked his death, but ended up learning that he has an illigetimate child named Hornswoggle... who's a fucking dwarf. Grand.

Three months of touring Quebec to give xenophobes, racists, and bigots a chance to express their prejudice on anything that doesn't speak French or isn't Christian. Because Bill 101 isn't bigoted enough.

Britney shaves her head. Britney checks into rehab. Britney checks out of rehab. Britney loses custody of her kids... I'm sorry, but I missed the part where I'm supposed to give a shit about Britney Spears. Almost like Michael Jackson, except I haven't heard any reports of Britney's nose falling off.

Because I don't have enough bad things to say about this episode, I'll just link the original posting and let you read my thoughts there. Mind you, I could have inducted the whole damn series, but that would imply my having watched the whole show and that would be wrong.

Former Star Trek actors got together and did something many thought impossible: they made their own Star Trek fan film. And having seen the trailer (but not the movie itself), it looks like a nice little flick. Unfortunately, after having seen the first part of their three-part series, they should have tracked down a couple former Trek writers to come up with a good story. This story made no sense whatsoever and even after repeated viewings, I still have no clue as to what's going on here. It's just crappy. Hopefully, the next two parts will be better... otherwise, expect this entry in the 2008 In Review article.

(2011 Update: After watching the whole thing - I still don't get the story. Not so bad if it wasn't for the confusing state of the timeline. Whatever.)

There seems to be this unwritten rule that was developed recently that there can be no Trek movie without Shatner and Nimoy together, because when word got out that Nimoy would reprise his famous role and Shatner wasn't, there seemed to be some sort of catalyst that resulted in people vowing to boycott the movie unless the filmakers inserted Shatner in his famous role as Kirk. Problem is... Kirk's dead and it's kinda pointless to bring him back just because a bunch of fanboys want him back. Even Shatner's upset and makes it a point to let everyone know about it. Whatever happened to Get A Life, Billy?

(2011 Update: Movie came and went in 2009 without Shatner in any way, shape, or form... AND IT WAS BETTER OFF. The movie needed Nimoy to justify its presence; it didn't need Shatner... and neither does the upcoming sequel.)

Sure, writers on strike means that there'll be a shortage of your favorite shows and more of those shitty reality shows, but considering the amount of crap out there burying the really sweet stuff, maybe we should just disown the writers and replace the existing programming with crap from YouTube. Just imagine: twenty-two weekly episodes of this moron screaming in front of a computer screen and banging his keyboard in a fit of rage. SMELL THE RATINGS!

Unionized workers with high-playing jobs go on strike because they're not getting paid enough... and then they have the gall to try and garner sympathy from the victims who have to put up with the bullshit.

Those Geiko commercials are deceiving: cavemen have trouble developing decent acting ability for low budget commercials, let alone saving money on their stone wheel insurance.

Kill Captain America? Smart move. Pretend Spider-Man's marriage never happened and pretend we're in the seventies again? Absolutely brilliant! Why don't we bring back Harry Osborn while we're at it? Oh wait...

So that's it. Happy 2008.

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