Classic Bite Commentary: October 6th, 2007

(2018 Update: Replacing an older post with a much older Bite commentary.)


USELESS BIT OF INFORMATION: According to the WWE Pay-Per-View event Unforgiven 2006, Edge has never lost a TLC match prior to his defeat at the hands of John Cena. Bullshit; on a May 24, 2001 episode of WWF Smackdown, Chris Jericho & Chris Benoit defended their WWF World Tag-Team Titles in a four-team TLC match against the Dudley Boyz (now Team 3D in TNA), The Hardys, and of course, Edge & Christian Cage (then known simply as Christian). Suffice to say, Jericho & Benoit retained their titles.

WARNING: Contains language and some material unsuitable for younger readers. Discretion is advised.

So last month's commentary is also posted this month due to stuff on my end. It seems like updating the site or any of my web projects have not been high on my list of things to do, but hopefully that will change in the coming weeks. In any case, this commentary won't be that meaty, as it mostly relates to a couple wrestling things, but I did promise a couple announcements so I'll start with one of them.

To try and get some semblance of regular updatings back on the site, I'm going to attempt to update the Webstation every Sunday night... or every Sunday to be a bit more general. These will be regular updates, such as new reviews and stuff. If this first month can be a successful run, I'm going to see what I can do about maintaining a semi-regular update... possibly bi-weekly. It's not a major announcement, but it's a step up.

A little over a week ago on RAW, during a match with the returning Mr. Ken Kennedy, John Cena suffered a pectoral tear that forced him out of action for anywhere from six months to a year. With that, he was forced to surrender his coveted WWE title belt (it spins - fuck that). While I personally am happy to see the Cena reign come to a merciful (pun intended) end, I am somewhat slighted by the fact that it took an injury to end what happens to be a year-long reign as champion and not a loss to an individual who could have benefited from such a win... even if that person was Randy Orton. So now we're stuck with a No Mercy main event that is simply billed as a WWE Championship match... yes, because that alone is enough to sell tickets. Who's involved in this match? What're the stipulations for this match? Will there even be a match? Whose genius idea was it to push for a title match without mentioning who's in it? Who knows... and ultimately who cares?

All the moral stuff aside, I'm so ecstatic that there's finally going to be a new champion. Hopefully, they'll finally do away with the dreaded spinner belt and return to a more traditional championship design. I don't care if you have to get an old regional title and staple a plate on it that says "WWE Champion". Anything is better than that piece of shit belt we've been forced to put up with for the past three years. Of course, now that I've said it, it probably won't happen and they'll just stick with the stupid spinner. In that case, I hope the man of three Hs wins the belt so he can channel Mr. Perfect (RIP) and smash the belt with his sledgehammer... or at least have the Nerd win it so he can take a shit on it... like he did Bugs Bunny and the Freddy game.

What I can tell you with absolute certainty is that the polls WWE.com have up are pretty fun. Of all the choices made available as to who people want to see win the WWE title, Val Venis has approximately 43% of the vote, trailing by the baby-killer Gene Snitsky and the McSon-In-Law of three Hs. Poor HHH, people would rather see a baby-killer or fake porn star be champion than the king of kings of idiots. Oh well. At least he has 14%. Kennedy only has 7% and poor Randall is trailing at 1.7%. It's just too bad that the people nobody wants as champion are the likely ones to win it.

In any case, WWE can't really kill my enjoyment of wrestling now regardless of what whacked-out shit they churn out next. After all, I got the Fight Network and their different breed of wrestling shows... not to mention the most awesome disclaimers I have ever seen. Any channel that practically begs you not to watch their channel if it offends you scores some high points in my book.

Kurt Angle got busted for DUI and is claiming innocence, citing that people just want to take advantage of him because he's famous. Oh that Kurt. Even when he's acting all intense and shit, he's still a big doofus.

Former reality series and TNA doofus Johnny Fairplay got dumped on his head by Danny Bonaduce during a awards show. When you get your ass kicked by a Partridge kid, you know you need to call it quits. Click here for the clip.

Okay, that's it. Another commentary in two weeks...