An "Open" Letter To Mr. Shat(ner)

The following letter is not an open letter, but the approximation of what would be written in an open letter to Mr. Shatner should I feel compelled to do so. It does however reflect my own opinion of the whole Shatner/Star Trek XI affair.

Dear Mr. Shatner,

Word has it that you will not be in the new Star Trek movie and that you have decided to let people know about it, expressing your opinion about how it is a foolish move not to have you in it. I suppose in your mind it's not fair, considering your old buddy Leonard Nimoy was convinced to return to acting to play the role of "Old Spock" in said movie developed by that guy who did Felicity, Alias, Lost, and some other fine shows. I suppose in your mind, it could be unjust that since you were involved in the "second" birth of Star Trek (I don't see Jeffrey Hunter rising from the grave complaining about how HE'S not digitally recreated for the new movie since he was involved in the "first" birth of Star Trek) you should involved in the rebirth. Fortunately, Mr. Shatner, I have some soothing words to calm your nerves.

Please shut the fuck up. Pretty please.

So you're not in the new movie. Big deal. You apparently never made a big deal of not appearing in the Next Generation show despite your best friend Leonard Nimoy appearing in two episodes. You didn't complain about not being featured in Deep Space Nine (even though you were featured in stock footage) or Voyager. And the last time I checked, you were holding out on a possible cameo for the last Trek venture, Enterprise. And now all of a sudden, you want to be featured in Trek again.

Fuck you, Shatner.

Do yourself a favor, Billy. Just forget about showing up in Star Trek XI. It's not going to happen and all your moaning and bitching is doing more to make you look like an egotistical asshole than it is to get you into the movie. All this bullshit you're spewing isn't making me feel sorry for you - it makes me nauseous. If anything, it makes me feel sorry for all the other fools who buy into your shameful bitching. I mean, I don't see George Takei complaining about not being involved in the new Trek... he had his share with New Voyages. Same goes for Walter Koenig... and Nichelle Nichols whose name I probably misspelled and for that I apologize in advance if I did, madam. Regardless, they're not complaining about not being in the movie. In fact, they support the movie and the actors who are playing the roles they once held. Why can't you?

Just forget about Star Trek. Just stick with your horseback ridings. Stick with Boston Legal. Stick with writing crappy Starfleet Academy novels. Just forget the movie. If you're lucky and you're alive when casting for Star Trek 24: The Voyage To The Home comes around, I'm sure they'll give you a call.

In your own immortal words, Bill... GET A LIFE! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, IT'S JUST A MOVIE!

Thanks for listening. Good night.

Sincerely yours,
DTM