Saturday, September 15, 2007

Classic Bite Commentary: September 15th, 2007

(2018 Update: Replacing an older post with an older Bite commentary.)

Another month, another Bite commentary. Lots of stuff to get to so let's jump right in, shall we? Some of these are blog reposts and expansions, others are original content, and then there's a couple other stuff here and there. I was planning on making a couple announcements, but have decided to save them for the next commentary. Yes, a cheap attempt at a build-up for the next commentary! ORDER NOW!

So I watched Summerslam and while I enjoyed the show, I can't help but feel somewhat slighted by the end result of the whole package. No big title changes. No feuds ended. No big returns... and yes, the return of ReyRey and he of the three Hs are not considered big returns in my book. Nothing particularly significant happened here at a show when you expect big things to happen. It's almost as if the show is just using its status as one of the Big Four as a build-up to a lesser PPV taking place tomorrow (speaking of which, expect predictions to be posted on the blog later tonight).

And I suppose that's the problem now. These days, it feels like the big shows are just there to build up to the less-than-significant shows. This hasn't been so much as a recent occurrence, but rather it's a feeling that's stuck ever since I started watching PPVs again last year. Like I said, I enjoyed the show, but not so much as previous iterations. It didn't feel much like the biggest party of the summer so much like it did the biggest hangover you've ever had and the afterthought of regret as to the previous night's events.

It seems somewhat sad to see wrestling personalities react to this type of criticism. I have never seen it stated that one must not criticize a show to enjoy it, but apparently this has been the case with most WWE talent or the fans that watch it. "Ooh, he sez he enjoys the show, but then he bitches about it. If you didn't like it, then why watch it?" Wow, what logic these people have. There should be a refund policy where WWE offers a disgruntled viewer all of his money back and keep all the swag he bought in exchange for not watching the product anymore. Maybe that'll filter out all them internet fans. Yeah, right.

So let's talk some ECW because I've somehow managed to get myself to sit through an episode for the first time since the early episodes when Paul Wight was champion. Let me start off with the "highlight: as it were: CM Punk winning the ECW title from Johnny Nitro on a throwaway episode of a show nobody watches as opposed to say... a major PPV where the win could have meant something. And why did Punk win this belt on this episode? Because Nitro is apparently involved with some drug scandal and needs to quickly fade away in order for WWE to avoid public scrutiny. I believe this drug scandal only proves how pathetically worthless WWE's testing policies truly are if they were unable to find this out for themselves.

Aside from the incredibly sour taste from the main event, I felt that ECW has improved somewhat. While word has it the quality has been inconsistent in recent weeks, this particular episode was a solid hour of entertaining wrestling. Even the mildly annoying crap like the Miz was tolerable as opposed to wanting to take a bathroom break. If word of USA cutting RAW in half does come to fruition (rather than word of USA expanding RAW to three hours), it would really benefit the Monday Night brand to one less hour... or at least some semblance of a format change that could make it... you know, less stale.

On another note relating to the recent drug scandal featuring wrestlers, here's an "article" from some Orlando "journalist" suggesting that the city drops Wrestlemania 24 in light of said scandal. No offense to the writer or anything, but... ARE YOU A FUCKING MORON? You're suggesting that the city of Orlando should cancel one of the most profitable ventures in sports and entertainment and let some other city reap all the rewards just because of a simple drug scandal... THAT TOOK PLACE IN YOUR OWN FUCKING CITY NO LESS? Please, do me and everyone else here a huge favor and just smash your head against a wall until the stupid pills wear off. Christ, no wonder I can't watch the news or read the newspaper these days; there's always some fuckwad running his mouth because it's the course of the month.

So now that I got that out of my system... let's talk some other stuff.

Word has it that this year's Diva Search competition is exclusive to the WWE website. Let's hope the talent involved stays exclusive to the WWE website and does not actually show up on my television set because God knows how the last three turned out.

This past Saturday, we got access to the Fight network, which features a whole bunch of wrestling, boxing, and MMA stuff. So suffice to say I got reason to start watching TV now. Just about the best part about the Fight Network are the disclaimers that precede each segment of their shows. In one of them, they actually beg you not to watch their channel if you're not old enough. Clearly. this is the best channel in the world.

Last Sunday, while people were watching Kurt Angle make an ass of himself on TNA, I was watching an ROH show from two years ago featuring a match between Samoa Joe and Kenta Kobashi. Man, is it ever good to see a nice, solid brawl (with some wrestling greatness) that blows WWE's so-called "Main Event Style" out of the Stratusphere. I may catch the ROH shows nightly and just tape the RAW replay from now on.

Of course, that was until I found out the ROH shows have replays and so I'll just switch between this and the WWE show until they reveal McMahon's kid. Turns out that the son of McMahon is the Little Bastard himself - Hornswoggle. As strange as this may sound, this isn't the worst idea they could come up with and it was a genuine surprise. While some people might complain how all this build-up was for nothing, it's not a major loss to anyone and this could actually go somewhere if they play it right. And to be perfectly honest, this is a heck of a lot better than someone like Kennedy, who would have the stigma of being McMahon's son. And considering the fact that he's starting to suck at this point, he doesn't really need that on his shoulders. So Hornswoggle is a fair choice. Dare I say a fine choice, lad.

Things are looking up, indeed.

Okay... so made a report of how the recent UFC pay-per-view was the most watched UFC show ever. All I got to say is... who gives a fuck? Really, if I wanted to read about the UFC, I'll go to a MMA website and read it there. I don't care about the UFC when I'm browsing a wrestling website. It's already been established that UFC is a major threat to WWE in PPV buys. We get it. We don't need more than that. If I'm in a wrestling site, I don't give two fucks about the UFC. Nothing against the organization, but they have no business on a site that does wrestling headlines... ever.

Made mention of this on the blog, but I guess I'll expand my thoughts here. A guy known by the name of SirStack (a longtime PR fan with some backstage stuff from the glory days) has recently unearthed the "long lost" pilot episode for Cybertron, a Power Rangers spin-off show that would later be known as VR Troopers. Only point of interest with this is that it features Jason Frank in the starring role, which he would have had if it weren't for those stupid kids who wanted him back as the Green Ranger. Naturally, it's a lot different from the final product, although in the end, it's just Tommy in a robot suit fighting off war droids. Would have made for an interesting show, but not one that would last long due to... well, you know. If you haven't seen it yet, click here to check it out.

Another rare gem that has appeared on YouTube is the original Power Rangers pilot. Some of you may have seen this in an altered form as "The Lost Episode" but this is the real deal, complete with its own opening video and headblows. Here are the links if you'd like to check it out: Part 1 - Part 2

Another interview with Shatner surfaced and once again, he states that he's not in the latest Trek movie. This will undoubtably spark another debate of Shatnerites crying foul and Trekkies boycotting the movie because Old Kirk isn't in it. And Shatner's noninvolvement does show that Abrams does respect continuity. After all, isn't Old Kirk... oooh, I don't know... DEAD? Yeah, thought so. Anyway, I'm just tired of beating this dead horse to the ground, so I'll just repost my thoughts from a blog entry a couple weeks ago:

Apparently the campaign to get Shatner on Abrams' Trek flick continue as the former "Kirk" is whoring himself out in an attempt to get someone to convince Abrams to stick the Shat in there. And... the talks over at Trekweb are amusing as hell, with the Shat-fans saying that Nimoy betrayed his best friend or some other bullshit... Doesn't Shatner already have a TV show he's doing right now? Shouldn't he just stick with that? His days as Kirk are long gone and no amount of makeup or toupees is going to bring him back to form just for a useless cameo. Would it be cool to see Kirk back in action? Sure... when a younger guy plays him. If Shatner doesn't fit into the equation, there should be no reason why he ought to.

Maybe it's because I was born in the eighties when Trek movies were starting to come out, so I don't have the same time of love for Kirk. Yes, I do believe he defined Trek. He's a cultural icon that Shatner has molded into his own. That much cannot be taken away. However, the man is way past his prime as far as that role goes and it's time for the mantle to be assumed by someone else. Would it be nice to see Shatner in a Trek movie? Sure... as the Enterprise chef.

If you want your share of Superdickery, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of Superman #666 (ooh, that's my number), where Superman does what he does best: be a dick. This is one of the most hilarious issues I have laid my hands on. A full review of the book can be found here. I'll have to check if I can find the 666th issue of Batman, although anything that book presents won't be as fun as Superman being a dick for 20+ pages of comic mayhem.

That's about it for now.

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