Classic Bite Commentary: August 15th, 2007

(2018 Update: Replaced an old post with an even older Bite commentary.)




Welcome to the Bite... yes, it's my birthday and I'm posting this commentary on it just for the few people who follow up on these commentaries. So you better feel special. Some of these are pure lazy-ass blog reposts (with special additional commentary).

Some time ago, Screwattack.com posted the Very Nerdy Non-Canonical Captain S Christmas show, which has PBC Productions' Captain S character (think Captain N, but with Sega stuff) joining forces with James Rolfe's popular Angry Video Game Nerd character to save Christmas despite the fact it was released during the summer. In any case, anyone wondering how the Nerd's foul-mouthed antics would crossover with the generally squeaky-clean Captain S will find that he's essentially neutered to the point where he's portrayed as a pale parody. In that context, it's somewhat humorous to have the Nerd use clean insults for a moment, but taking away what made the character endearing (the mindless and creative swearing) really hurts the character and suddenly he doesn't seem as great as he is in his solo ventures.

On the other hand, this is a somewhat decent Captain S episode that just happens to have a neuteured Angry Nerd in it and in that context, it's okay. Disappointing? Yes, but Mr. Rolfe basically made up for that with his Bugs Bunny Birthday Bash video, which sees a return to form as he beats the living hell out of Bugs Bunny because of the lousy video game the famed rabbit starred in. But yeah... the Nerdy Christmas show? Unless you're a diehard fan of the Captain S webseries, I'd give it a shot, but it's not up to standards.

You would think that Hollywood would have run out of anything remotely resembling an original idea these days, what with its ability churn out oft-inferior remakes of perennial classics. Now you can add Enter The Dragon to the list, according to this webpage. Enter The Dragon, arguably Bruce Lee's most famous epic, does not need a remake of any kind... I don't understand the logic behind remakes - why remake the classics instead of the cruds? The cruds need a remake (or cremation - whichever you prefer). It seems almost embarrassing when the best thing coming out of Hollywood are the exploits of drunk-ass Linsay and jailbird Paris.

I find it absolutely amazing that a couple years after the last Star Trek show Enterprise is canceled, co-creator and writer Brannon Braga is still getting flak from Trekkies over the direction of the series and some of his episodes. Now in a recent interview, Braga admits that he has regretted some things that have come to pass, but that doesn't change anything. And you know what? He's right. Regardless of whether he regrets something or not, it doesn't mean a damn thing. It doesn't change a damn thing. It's not going to force anyone to enjoy the crappy episodes out of pity. It's not going to improve the quality of the show. And heaven forbid, it'll bring the show back from the dead. It's sort of sad that people tend to piss on Braga because he was responsible (partly - Berman had a hand in it too) for a putrid show that eventually got better, dismissing the fact that he had his hand in some good episodes in the franchise. It's time to drop the hate and move on. It doesn't really serve any purpose. Even I have the good sense of living him alone by not following up the parody fanfic I wrote with the sequel (which would have been as bad if not worse than what actually aired). So do me and everyone else a huge favor and give it a rest, guys. Enterprise is dead and buried. The guy's moved on to other projects. Leave him alone.

Let's discuss some other Trek tidbits: it's been said on this website that another Heroes co-star (I don't watch the show, so I don't know who he plays) wants a role in the upcoming Star Trek movie, assuming the role of the new Sulu. I don't think it's a good idea... nothing against the guy, but I much rather have people involved in the movie that have nothing to do with any of Abrams' current or previous projects. Maybe that Keri Russell/Klingon rumor might actually come to fruition at this point, regardless of her current situation.

So this past week at TNA's Hard Justice PPV, TNA World champion Kurt Angle defeated X-Division/Tag Team champ Samoa Joe to win all the TNA Titles. This happened due to Angle's wife pulling a swerve on Joe that was so predictable you had to be a total idiot not to see it coming. Meanwhile, we've had a "dream" match between Team 3D (the former Dudley Boyz) and the Steiner Brothers... a match that would have been a dream match a good 5-10 years ago when both of them actually mattered. And let's not forget the trainwreck of a cage match - a modern-day Chamber of Horrors.

What happened to being the wrestling alternative? Instead, we've got a bunch of stupid storylines for the sake of being stupid. WWE's storylines tend to be pretty moronic as well, but at least they're somewhat intriguing (not always) and they often end up producing entertaining matches even at the expense of young, fresh talent. Instead, TNA is slowly becoming a second coming of WCW, where all the homegrown talent is being pissed on just to appease all the WWE rejects... and yes, I'll include Kurt Angle and Christian Cage in that "elite" group. I mean, it absolutely boggles the mind how progressively bad they're becoming. All that talent and they have to push this shit down our throats? That's just sad.

Just from the various reviews I've been reading, the show in general wasn't all that great and when I read the results of this show, I could understand why. While I don't follow TNA, I do keep up with it on the Internet sites and it absolutely pleases me that I don't have access to the show, because chances are I would have tore it a new asshole. And before someone blasts me for being "another negative internet wrestling writer", I'm just a fan who loves to watch the cheesy stuff - the fanfics based on old-school Power Rangers should be evident of that. Heck, I wrote off the "Vince Is Dead" deal as stupid, but peaked my interest long enough to actually be interested in what would happen (as it turned out, he "faked" his death). I have no problem with stupid storylines if they're done right, because most oftentimes they tend to get better and even lead to something great. I have no gripes about that, but the thing is what TNA (and WWE to a certain extent as well) are producing isn't cheese - it's a smelly substance that defies imagination.

By the way, people were probably wondering but I've decided to postpone the revamp of the Webstation. Reason being that a lot of the new content I have planned for it isn't ready (i.e. hasn't been started yet) and I have no intention of releasing the site until it's spiffy, with no holes to fill. There's a couple new sections to the site. I'm aiming for a November opening. So yeah, the black moody simplistic design is going to stick around for a while. Not that there's anything wrong with it.