DTM BLOG Classic #30: Vince's "death" brings out the stupid in people

So apparently, some non-wrestling sites picked up on the Vince McMahon whacking and the amount of user comments for this story is almost mind-boggling.  Not so much the frequency, but the message contained therein. People complaining about how they were offended by such a hoax and believe WWE has gone too far. This is something that has been mentioned several times on my part, but let's get this out there just one more time.





First off, this is wrestling. Some prefer to call it sports-entertainment, but primarily this is wrestling. This is not the most socially-conscious form of entertainment out there. One needs to look at the multitude of stereotypical characters such as Cryme Time (a tag-team of black gangstas or something) or anybody who is or even remotely looks middle-eastern such as Muhammad Hassan (the Italian guy who looked like an Arab) to see how socially conscious wrestling is. Second off, this is WWE. This is the same company that ran a storyline involving a 80+ year-old woman giving birth to a fucking plastic hand. This is also the same company that let the same old hag show off her flimsy thingies she calls boobs at a major PPV event, where thousands of men, women, and children were horrifically scarred for life. If people think they've gone too far with this car-exploding stunt, I'm sorry but they're fucking idiots who really don't know better. Not to say that I know any better, but then again, speaking as someone who has been a fan of this form of entertainment since 1998, I know better to say this was just a stupid ending to a show rather than something that is taken beyond some imaginary boundary that they should be limited to.

This type of reaction is EXACTLY what they want and by feeding them this kind of reaction, it only encourages them to do more of it. If you don't like it, then QUICK! CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL! Please don't complain how they should be better role-models to children because it's been well-implied for quite some time that their main audience is that 18-to-35 male demographic. Which leads to my next point...

And finally, stop hiding behind the children. This almost seems to be a universal excuse for hating something. If you think what WWE or anyone else is showing is too offensive for your child, then DON'T LET THEM WATCH IT. This is why children suck, because the majority of parents these days do a half-ass job (maybe less, who the fuck knows) of actual parenting and then place the blame on anything they could think of other than themselves when their kids are out committing mass executions at schools. This is why I don't want kids.

Did I mention the ending was stupid?

A couple days later, people are still talking about the exploding limo. I find it absolutely amazing that people would be offending by an exploding limo at a wrestling show.

"How can they treat this as real?" That seems to be the question in relation to the web site reports, flag dropping, and other events they have concocted. Well, that's the wrestling business. Even though we know it's not a real death (only the real stupid ones believe this to be real and the even stupider dipshits will point out this is fake when it should be obvious) and even though we know wrestling is a scripted form of entertainment in general, they maintain the illusion on a constant basis. It raises the believability somewhat that there is a hatred between the two feuding wrestlers. It's not necessary; some would call it excessive, but that's the nature of the beast.

Now my stance on the ending is simple: it's a pretty stupid ending. Mind you, it was an ending that wasn't expected. There was that "Holy Shit" factor thrown in and it caught a lot of people off-guard, so it did its job there. However, this type of ending doesn't really work in wrestling because eventually you're going to have to bring the guy back for an appearance. Unless they plan on bringing back Vince as a zombie, there's no way they can logically write him back into storylines.

Then again, this is WWE Creative we're talking about. These guys probably have no clue what logic is, especially the people in charge.

I guess it's worth mentioning that while we had this "Vince Is Dead But Not Really" business going on, news broke that former manager Sherri Martel passed away. The good news is that WWE confirmed it. The bad news is that this very real loss of life is apparently not big enough news compared to the fake death of Mr. McMahon.

Then along comes the following week's RAW, which was alright for the most part, featuring a surprisingly watchable Divas match that gives me some hope for halfway decent women's wrestling with stories I can tolerate. And then there's the bits with the (fake) private investigator interrogating several superstars over the crime. This guy was so busy in cracking the case, yet he was able to find time to pose for a picture on WWE.com.

Over the past week, WWE.com has asked people their opinion regarding the (fake) fiery demise of Vince McMahon. More than 150,000 people offered their thoughts on the heinous crime. The responses included WWE Superstars, Hall of Famers, past Superstars and even celebrities. Some of these include Triple H, Stone Cold, Eric Bischoff, Donald Trump, and a few other former wrasslers. However, according to the great Dave, none of those guys have the capability nor the intellect to perform such heinous attacks. Therefore, here are my five potential suspects:

1. The late Eddie Guerrero
Eddie, witnessing everything from heaven, was apparently upset that Mr. McMahon allowed his name to be exploited and dragged to the mud last year by making Rey Mysterio a shitty world champion. So he willed the limo to explode.

2. Kurt Angle
Angle apparently is still pissed at Vince for reasons nobody other than Kurt cares about. Maybe he never got over that pizza gig from years ago.

3. The Power Rangers
They thought Vince was one of Zedd's monsters and finished off the limo with the Power Blaster.

4. The Federal Government
They wanna get back at Vince for that steroid trial back in the 90s.

5. Ash from Evil Dead
Ash blew up Vince because he thought Vince was a deadite.  That and he left the chainsaw at home.

Okay, so it's late at night and I'm tired. Can you blame me?

So that's all I got. We'll see where this goes come the PPV.

Good night.

2011 POSTSCRIPTThe truly sad irony about all this; the Mr. McMahon death angle was supposed to last a few months, but was cut short a couple weeks later when the Benoit family murder/suicide deal took place... not something that deserves any positive or notable reflection.