Classic Bite Commentary: May 21st, 2007

(2018 Update: Replaced an older show with an even older Bite commentary.)




Welcome to the Bite. Planned on this being a quick one, but I've apparently got lots to say (expanded blog posts and original content, along with some announcements that are made here first). Enough of the introductory crap, let's get on with some talk.

So apparently, UFC head honcho Dana White reveals he's in talks with Kurt Angle to do a MMA-bout with Brock Lesnar. Hold up a sec. Isn't this the same Dana White who pissed on Angle for teasing a MMA career before signing with TNA? What the fuck happened to change his mind? Somebody please clear this thing up because I am definitely missing something here.

Speaking of Kurt Angle, what an incredible debut for the TNA World Title; show off the new title belt so it can be taken away from the champion. Who the fuck came up with that ruling? Why couldn't they hold off showing the new belt until they presented it to the proper champion when he was crowned? It's almost like Vince Russo was booking this shit. Oh wait.

I've just tuned in to ECW for the first time in a long time and apparently, Rob Blatt was right in calling this a piece of crap show, because if there was ANY improvement in the product, I have not noticed it one bit. Now with Sabu gone, WWE has decided to not put Rob Van Dam on TV anymore and therefore he got an early release. RVD won't be jumping to TNA or anywhere else soon because of the infamous no-compete clause, but certainly any pretense of trying to get RVD to sign a new WWE contract is out the window.

Now with two of its biggest stars released, I think it's fair to say the ECW experiment is officially dead and buried. Let's face it: you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone significant on that show who can be pushed as a major star. You might say Lashley, but right now he's spending more time on Raw than he is on ECW and therefore can't be relied on to spearhead the brand. CM Punk is another name that might pop to mind, but they're just happy keeping him in meaningless nothing matches with Elijah Burke. The other ECW Originals worth a damn, Dreamer and Sandman? Worthless in the long run. Like I said, this experiment is dead and buried. It's basically on life support until the contract with Sci-Fi runs out. Then anyone who is worth a damn is moved to either RAW or Smackdown. Fine by me; it'd be one less shitty wrestling show infecting the airwaves and we can all look forward to CM Punk jobbing to John Cena week in and week out.

And speaking of Cena, what a piece of shit match that was. Unsurprisingly, Cena retains his little shitter belt and adds another one of his unbelievable (as in NOT believable) victories to his reign of terror. It's just absolutely horrendous booking and the people who book this crap are probably thinking "If this doesn't make Cena the new Hulk Hogan, then we'll feed him another 'roided freak." And that's what they're doing with Cena; they're trying to give him a Hogan-esque run. The problem is that the Hogan run worked (brace yourselves, I'm about to say something positive about Hulk Hogan) because Hogan had the presence, the body, and the charisma that made people believe that he truly was an immortal up until he grew old and became a bitter old man hanging on to that shred of relevance he believes is still there. Cena doesn't have the body nor the presence, not to mention his charisma is lacking - but make no mistake, it is there if you want to call it that.

If I were booking WWE shows, I'd have Bobby Lashley feuding with Khali over the ECW title while Cena would be chasing after the trio of Vince, Shane, and Umaga over the WWE title. Lashley doesn't have much charisma (or a personality, but I digress), but he does have the body and the presence to compliment the Great Khali. Yes, the match would suck monkey fuck, but it would make a victory over Khali a believable one and thus Lashley's stock would rise somewhat. Cena, on the other hand, is just... ugh. Even the Triple H title reigns from 2002-2005 were slightly more tolerable than this... slightly.

While we're on the wrestling kick, I should probably bring up the report of some wrestling newssites that Shawn Michaels might have a "serious" leg injury that might require some surgery. He'll probably work through it for as long as he can, but just so we know, if Shawn is out, that means the only guy on top of the RAW ladder is John Worthless. Between now and the eventual return of Mr. McSon-In-Law - you know, he of the three Hs - Cena is the only viable main-eventer to look forward too, which means there's pretty much no reason to tune in to Raw right about now. After all, my Edge jumped ship and Randy Orton is so useless and his potential starpower wasted beyond belief that he is probably better off main eventing Sunday Night Heat (do they even call it that anymore?) against hotel room furniture. Smackdown, please don't let me down like you have a tendency to do in the past.

Now that I have given a fair share of wrestling commentary, let's dwell into some other random stuff, including expanded blog reposts and new stuff.

According to an interview, George Lucas calls the new Spider-Man movie a silly picture with no story substance. This coming from the guy who made shallow Star Wars prequels and Howard the Duck? Shut up, Lucas. Just shut up. Never mind the fact that he's partly right, but the thing is his prequels were also pretty silly and shallow... well, okay, Sith was a good picture, but that's about it.

Speaking of which, I saw Spider-Man 3 this past weekend. I'll be posting my full thoughts on it sometime later this week or the next, but suffice to say, everything you've heard about it being an inferior sequel is somewhat true. It's not a bad movie, it just doesn't have the stuff that made the first two flicks memorable. That and too much crying.

Also during the same weekend, I picked up a Dazzle A/V device, which is basically a USB device that connects your VCR, DVD Players, and video game consoles or whatever to your PC. It's a capture device and so far it's a fairly nifty piece. I would comment on the included editing software, but I don't have the RAM. Hopefully after the check-up... more on that later.

A couple nights ago while channel-surfing, I caught an episode of America's Funniest Home Videos. I haven't seen this show since Bob Saget (almost had the urge to type Sagat) was hosting it ages ago. Somehow, the videos aren't as funny as they used to be. Maybe the humor's over my head, but as I begin to study it further, a sudden realization dawned upon me. It never occured to me how violent this show was. They have little girls whipping baseballs in their daddy's genitals, kids landing on their heads, and all sorts of heinous actions that would cause the PTC to cry foul if it were to appear on another show where such action wasn't disguised as "comedy" or whatever. AFHV is violent and the true source of all violent behavior among children and teens. This show must be CANCELED.

Or maybe because the show isn't that great to begin with. Todd Bergeron is no Bob Saget.

The original blog post on the current status of New Voyages... actually, I was asking, but just for shits and giggles, let's repost the damn thing here before I move on.

Anybody knows what's going on with that New Voyages thing? All they announced on their website are various people with actual Trek production experience joining them, but they don't mention anything about product. Fine, real Trek workers are helping them out with this fanfilm, but it doesn't really mean anything if you have nothing to show for it. An update on production would be nice, even if it just said "Production's going smoothly" or "Production's been stalled" or even "Production was shot into space and landed in rugged terrain, so we've sent out a search party to look for production. Other than that, we're all cool."

As I'm writing this particular commentary, I'm also browsing through their website... particularly their news section. All that's there are reports of pro Trek guys doing work on some episode which isn't going to be shown for quite some time. Nothing particularly new or noteworthy, but at least it shows the project is still alive somewhat.

Now tomorrow, there's going to be a strike among the STM maintenance workers. I have made my feelings clear on the blog, but for the sake of shits and giggles (as well as those who haven't caught wind of it), here's what I wrote:

If you live in the Montreal area, better make plans to adjust to yet another bus/metro strike on May 22. According to 940 News website, chances are service will only be available during rush hour or late night. You can read the full details by cutting and pasting the web address below, but it just screams typical union workers who expect to get a pay increase just to deliver the same type of quality bullshit that has hindered a once-great means of transportation. Sure, I've been using the system for a couple years now and have no regrets in prefering it over driving a car downtown, but fuck. You'd think with annual mark-ups that the service would actually, you know, improve instead of being the same unreliable, plodding service that it's been for years now. It gets to a point where the waiting time at a bus stop equals the time it takes to get there by foot. It's ridiculous.

Now while doing a search on how I'm going to get to work and back tomorrow, I came across this small blog post from a STM maintenance worker. It basically explains that their job requires them to maintain aging equipment and it is getting difficult for them to do. Well, in that respect, I sure am a bit understanding. After all, it sure is nice for them to ask for a 2% pay inflation so they can maintain the same shitty service to the public as opposed to... oh, I don't know... working to replace the aging equipment so that not only won't it aggravate the workers who have to maintain it, but also provide a much more efficient essential service to the public. But I guess that's not what those workers want. After all, why work and earn a paycheck to support your family when the public can do it for you? Fuck them.

On that note, we wrap up another Bite commentary. The next Bite commentary will be posted in July. This is mainly due to the fact that there isn't really going to much to cover that can't be said in the Blog. Also, I want to use the time off from organize some of the Bite commentaries so that they'd be easier to manage... that and I want to work the final touches on the new site layout which is due July 2nd. Yes, I have established a date.

Before that, though, I have to bring in my PC for a FREE tune-up. At the same time, they'll be checking if the system is good enough for Windows Vista. If it is, they'd install it for sixty bucks. I don't the exact price Vista is being sold at, but I know that's a cheap price. At the same time (yes, I said it twice), I'll see if I can add some more RAM into the system, which is something I desperately needed and should have pushed for when I first got the TV... but the LCD screen was too good to pass up, I suppose.

Such a tune up takes them a few days to go through, so I don't have to point out that for the rest of the week, I'll be without a computer and thus will be in the dark as it relates to online happenings and whatnot. Not much of a big loss for better or worse, since I rarely update much outside of the occasional blog post.

That's it for me. See you in a couple months time.