Monday, April 3, 2006

DTM BLOG Classics #21: Wrestlemania 22 Thoughts


This is a show that pretty much had everything going against it due to a subpar card and a high price tag.

Despite these drawbacks, Wrestlemania 22 was still an enjoyable PPV with a few good matches, but it's not without its flaws. The opener was your tag-team title bout. Nothing special, but nothing inoffensive. Sad state of affairs when two giants can fend off against Afroboy and Steroid Man, but get beat by the male cheerleaders the next night. A sad state of affairs indeed.

Money In The Bank... well, the guys expected to do all the crazy stuff delivered and the heavy-hitters' presence were kept to a minimum. I enjoyed this match tremendously, but felt it to be a step below the original MITB match from last year's Mania.

JBL got fat... how the heck did that happen? Anyway, this US title match was below par, but nothing too offensive. Not too bad.

The Hardcore match... brutal, sick, and twisted. Very entertaining. Yes, I'm quite morbid. Thanks.

Boogeyman/Booker T... who cares?

The Women's Title bout... to say the very least, I'm impressed. Not with the quality of the match, but the fact that the two women involved actually know how to wrestle. I don't need T&A to be entertained, just quality matches.

Undertaker wins in a frickin' boring match. It's no surprise that he'll win, but you'd think the match would at least be good... sorry, no luck there.

Hey, look. Shane kissed ass. No, not that, you sick bastard. The Vince/HBK brawl was very good, better than Hogan/Vince and Shane/Vince. If this keeps up, Vince could tie Tito Santana for worst 'Mania win-loss record ever.

The 3-way was good... I'm not sure about Rey Rey being World HEAVYWEIGHT champ. I mean... I'm happy for him, but did he get it because he deserve it or because of the Eddie pity push he's been getting as of late? Either way, hopefully Eddie can rest in peace and his name won't be dragged in the mud any further than it already has.

Pillow fight... who gives a shit?

And then there was the main event: HHH dressed as Conan and John Cena dressed as a mobster. Despite the impressive (or not) entrances, neither kept the costumes on. That's okay, because they both looked like idiots and should probably bury their heads in shame. Or maybe beat the shit out of each other with heavy hammers and tommy guns. At least that would have made for a more interesting main event than what we got. The internet wrestling community has a point: when HHH wants to work, he really works. When he doesn't, it shows. This match sucked and the crowd, who pissed on the supposed face Cena and cheered the supposed heel Helmsley, certainly didn't help matters.

If you catch the replay, listen carefully at the end of the match after HHH taps to Cena's submission hold (what the fuck kind of ending is that?!). You'll notice the crowd being purposely muted as to not spoil the festivity of Cena's victory and retaining of the championship. Either way, it's a sucky ending by PPV standards and an absolute mindfuck for a Wrestlemania.

At this point, Cena reminds me of the Rock. Or more specifically, Rocky Maivia. See, early in his career, Rocky was this goody-too-shoes who was told to smile and kiss babies or something similar. Because he got pushed to the moon due to this stale character and lack of wrestling skill, the crowd pissed on him to the point where chants of "Die Rocky Die!" and "Rocky Sucks" practically became an anthem. Of course, after a few months off, Rocky Maivia was reinvented and the Rock was born... which lead to being one of the more popular WWF talents and eventually one of Hollywood's rising big stars.

John Cena is similar to Rocky in that the people are sick and tired of his act. Fortunately, chants of "Fuck You Cena" is a step up from "Die Cena Die", which hasn't happened yet, but there's no reason why it won't if something doesn't happen soon. Cena needs a major change in routine if he's going to be a major player for many years and not a guy who people got sick and tired of putting up with. Because let's face it: when the IWC wants the hated politician HHH to win the world title for the eleventh time and put the babyface Cena out of his misery, it's time to shift battle plans. The late Owen Hart had said it best: Enough is enough and it's time for a change.

Ahem. Sorry about that. Overall, this was a fairly good show with a few sore spots. Not the greatest, but still good.


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