Sunday, May 22, 2022

Sunday Gimmick Table #17 - Hyperkin Ranger 2600 Gamepad

The spork of Atari 2600 control devices, as it combines the traditional joystick and less traditional paddle controllers into one device... meh.

Friday, May 20, 2022

An Important Lesson Was Learned This Morning...

Don't have heroes.
Don't have role models.
Don't look up to anyone.
Because sooner or later...
They'll let you down.
That's the current generation in a nutshell.

Fortunately, I have no heroes.
Therefore, I have no disappointment.
I do have a migraine.
And a tummy ache.
I need a stiff drink...
Or Twenty.

DTM-Cast: Episode #215

Click on the image above to download the MP3.

Bonus Q&A episode and a "season finale" of sorts. Will return late-July.

Today's scheduled review will also be posted on Monday... and Sunday is something else.

Flash Fiction #26 - Handshake

Short and sweet.

Thursday, May 19, 2022

AEW Dynamite (May 18th, 2022): Two Awesome Matches And A Whole Bunch Of Meh...

So, I am going to level with you. This episode has two REALLY good matches and a bunch of other stuff that either didn't jive with me or... wait for it... put me to sleep.

And no, that last bit did not involve CM Punk.

Specifically, the Hangman Page vs. Takeshita match was a really non-title match that saw the champ hit the DDT guy with his Buckshot followed by a somewhat sloppy looking GTS, much to Announcer Punk's approval, which is a nice change of pace seeing a guy not react poorly to another guy using his move. This Takeshita fellow is pretty good; hope to see more of him around these parts. The other fine match on this show, an Owen tourney match that saw Kyle O'Reilly advance to the semis at Rey Fenix's expense, was also exceptional.

The rest of the show was kind of just there. There was a Jericho/Regal segment that was a thing that happened - the furthest thing I would expect to say about a segment between two great talkers - and we got a big multi-man out of it... but not a Stadium Stampede as Jericho initially wanted because Mox isn't doing any of that sports entertainment crap. Way to bury the AEW staple, Jon... but then again, I'm sure a lot of people feel your way, so it works out.

MJF gives Wardlow some lashings, a low blow, and more lashings... Wardlow no-selling the first few lashes and even laughing it off to the chagrin of MJF made the segment in my book.

As for the two Jokers in the tourney... eh. Samoa Joe got Johnny Nitro Morrison Impact Turbo Elite Mundo (how many fucking names does this guy need?) and beat him. Meanwhile, Dr. Britt got the singing joshi with the red hair and yeah, okay, that was a thing. At least Britt won, but what was the point of having mystery opponents if they're really nothing special?

(I'm sorry, Johnny. I'm sorry I have to lump you in with the cute girl who can't sing a lick.)

Apparently, Adam Cole beat Jeff Hardy in his Owen tourney match and there was a beatdown afterwards. I wouldn't know because I fell asleep during this one and by the time I woke up, the show was over. That was not a good sign and the fact that I have to watch more Adam Cole does not excite me in the slightest. Fortunately, next week's musings was already written months ago, so I should be able to stave that off for a bit.

Oh, and there was also a Serena Deeb confrontation with Tony Schiavone and Dustin Rhodes, where she cries foul about people thinking that she (Deeb) can't beat Thunder Rosa for the Women's title. I realize this involved another promotion that they're no longer working with at the moment, but didn't Serena beat Rosa for the NWA Women's title a year or so back? And wasn't that title prominently featured on AEW television? Because if that's the case, then I don't see why you couldn't use that to plant seeds of doubt that Rosa could beat Deeb and hold on to her title. That's just me, though.

Not much else to say there. I didn't hate this show, so we can leave the bots at home. Try to catch those two awesome matches I mentioned if you can, but the rest is skippable fare.

DTM-Cast: Episode #214

Click on the image above to download the MP3.

On this "special" May 19th edition of the DTM-Cast before this Sunday's season finale... we talk about the end of Irate Gamer Sucks, the end of EA FIFA, and professional wrestling promotions detailing with UNPLANNED creative changes. Not necessarily in that order. Oh, and Saudi Arabia buys Nintendo.

Wednesday, May 18, 2022

Ring Of Honor SUPERCARD Of Honor 2022

So at the moment, I'm somewhat conflicted because I'm not sure whether I should count this as a Ring Of Honor PPV or an All Elite PPV. Because it's the first ROH PPV since Final Battle in December and the first show since the company went on self-imposed hiatus, but at the same time, it's also the first show since Tony Khan bought Ring Of Honor and I'm not sure which is which.

See, it looks like an ROH show in terms of the sets. It sounds like an ROH show, with the usual commentary crew doing the honors here. But the whole thing comes across as a thinly-veiled AEW B-show, with some of the underused AEW guys being featured prominenetly while you only had a handful of ROH guys from prior to the hiatus who aren't signed by AEW.

In any event, it's billed as a Ring Of Honor show despite now being part of the AEW empire and since I tend to treat NXT as its own thing during the few times I've covered their stuff, I suppose I should do the same here. And since I made the leap and jumped on board with an Honor Club subscription - because I might as well while the service is still up to try and take in as much ROH as I possibly could - maybe this will get the ball rolling on revisiting some old stuff from the promotion's prime years and such.

But that is then. Let's talk about this Supercard Of Honor show and how awesome it was.

Monday, May 16, 2022

Attack Of The Clones... Every Bit As Bad As I Remember It

(Fixed the publishing date so that it actually says May 16th, which is when this was actually published. My bad.)

Twenty years ago, on this very day, the fifth Star Wars film and the second episode of the Star Wars Prequel trilogy, Star Wars: Episode II - Attack Of The Clones, was released in theatres worldwide. As the second chapter of the prequels, it continued the story of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi and his young padawan Anakin Skywalker, who are charged with the mission of protecting the young Senator and former Queen Amidala from assassins, all the while trying to uncover the mystery of a clone army created in Kamino. The movie raked in about $650 million in the box office, but the reaction has been decided mixed.

Over the years, I have made no secret about considering Attack Of The Clones to be the absolute worst Star Wars movie ever made. I have held this belief since the day it premiered when I first saw it in theatres with my older brother and a bunch of his buddies, and even with the release of the recent films - which I tend to forget exist, coincidentally enough - it neatly lines that proverbial bottom of the Star Wars bottle. Now, it's entirely possible that I may have been a bit harsh and maybe a fresh viewing through new eyes and on the eve of its twentieth year of existence, I may have gotten a new appreciation for this often misunderstood film.

So I pulled out the Blu-Ray disc that I had laying around, popped into my Blu-Ray player, resisted the urge to dive into the extras, and I watched Attack Of The Clones for the first time in years. And you know, I had the DVD release, I popped that into my DVD player, I kicked back and watch this film for the first time in years... and you know how some people would revisit something that they hadn't touched in years because they had a low opinion of it and then they would go "Well, this isn't as bad I remember it."

Well, if the title isn't much of a clue, then I give you my utmost assurance that no such thoughts came to mind after my viewing of Attack Of The Clones. It is, for all intents and purposes, every bit as bad as I remember it.

Saturday, May 14, 2022

Flash Fiction #25 - Jeff Harvey

The Hardy Party had come to an end.

Matt found himself on the receiving end of a hellacious beating from seven men. A short time ago, he would've called those men allies, but now those men have opted to excise him from the group. Each blow came down fast and hard, with Matt taking the brunt of each blow with stride. Eventually, the men grew tired of using their fists and feet to beat up the failure that had brought them so many losses and opted for some hardware. Steel chairs, brass knuckles, and pipes were the weapons of choice for these men, who continually pounded upon the limping body of their former ally.

Just as things looked bleakest, the blaring notes of stock rock music is heard throughout the arena and the audience, familiar with this tune for years, broke into uproarious applause and excitement. After what seemed like a period of waiting, Matt's brother Jeff - fresh off his "questionable" departure from a rival organization - came out to the delight to the crowd... and in a moment driven by adrenaline and the kinetic energy of the crowd, he broke into his routine dance number. The same number he would perform to the delight of the crowd time and time again. He missed this energy. He needed this energy. He craved it.

Meanwhile, Matt's former allies picked up his limp body and took turns drilling his chest with repeated blows from spiked clubs and barbed-wire baseball bats that they found laying around. By this point, Matt was clearly bleeding and on his last legs. And to make matters worse, he could still see in the distance Jeff dancing to the notes of their theme music, all the while his men start pulling out assault weapons.

Jeff, slowly but surely, made his way down the ramp, continuing to jam to the music and feeding off the live crowd. Loud banging noises broke him from his adrenaline-fueled stupor and he charged his way to the ring, taking on the men who were beating up his brother. The men fled and Jeff raised his hands in triumph, but the crowd did not cheer in response. Jeff looked around, wondering what he did wrong, and then saw the bloody corpse of his brother on the ground. Jeff shook his head in shame; he danced for far too long and it cost Matt his life.

And then the music played and Jeff danced some more, much to the delight of the crowd... and then Matt no-sold his horrible injuries and embraced his brother.

Somewhere in Louisville, an old man shouts at the clouds about the business being killed yet again and records it on his podcast.

Friday, May 13, 2022

Review #862 - Pac-Mania (Master System)

Capcom Releasing Multiple Titles By March 2023... None Of Them Are Mega Man


So Capcom put out a list of "major" titles they will be releasing soon. A couple Resident Evil remakes to next gen consoles, the Capcom Fighting Collection and the other Stadium thing, another Monster Hunter, and a couple other titles whose names I forget, so if you want to check the list out, click the link above.

One name missing from that list is the ol' Blue Bomber himself. I guess we're going to have to wait until Inafking brings us Mighty No. 10, after all. And I don't want to live in that reality.

Or, you know, I could go back to play the other dozen or so Mega Men I've got laying around... yeah, I might do that.

Thursday, May 12, 2022

AEW Dynamite (May 11th, 2022): The Only Goodhausen Is A Deadhausen

Pretend you're Excalibur and you have to read the following paragraph in less than 30 seconds of airtime.

Adam Cole beat Dax in an Owen match. CM Punk killed the Meatman with the Hangman's Buckshot Lariat. A Tony Schiavone-conducted interview with Britt Baker does not get interrupted. Tony Nese, who didn't even get an entrance, Kill-Hausens Danhausen, much to my happiness... and then Hook shows up because sure, why not? And now we have Hookhausen... I'd be much happier with Deadhausen, but whatever-hausen... Fuck, now I'm doing the hausen thing. MJF/Wardlow contract signing turns into a Dark Side Of The Ring segment featuring Barry Horowitz... MJF gets a pop from the Long Island crowd. They book the match for DOuble or Nothing, assuming ten whip shots, cage match from Ten Guy with MJF as special ref... and Wardlow kills the lawyer guy. Ricky Starks retains his FTW belt over Jungle Boy. Toni Storm beats the Hayter and Jeff Hardy beats Darby in what is supposed to be an Owen match but ended up being a match full of crazy spots and by the way, did you know Owen's widow and kids were at the show? I wonder what they thought of that match.

It was a better show than last week, at least.

Ncuti Gatwa Is The 14th Doctor In Doctor Who


So they cast another Doctor for Doctor Who... and it's the guy from Sex Education.

I'm sure that means something to someone out there somewhere.

I know nothing about this actor, which usually means no colored (no pun intended) expectations as to how well he'll do as the Doctor.

I just hope he gets better scripts than Jodie did.

Also, how many folks are weeping that they're not getting a second dose of David Tennant, as rumored? Or that the Doctor is still not ginger?

Anyway, best of luck to Ncuti Gatwa in his new role.