Moar Ramblings About Impact

The following is a transcript of a segment from Episode #70 of the DTM-Cast, slightly adjusted for text format.

A couple weeks ago, Impact Wrestling has finally dumped the much-maligned TNA moniker and pretty much dumped the prior management for its idiotic decision-making and things of that nature. So what we're going to get from here on out is a new product that's pretty much the same as the old product. A Global Force of wrestling, if you wheel... or actually, don't wheel. It's not worth it.

So because it's a new era and it's historic and you've got to witness history being made here tonight or some kind of garbage, I actually DVR that episode, watched it, and did a very long and very disturbed post on that one episode of Impact. I'm going to be watching Wrestlemania 32 for the first time since last year for the purposes of a write-up... and oh, by the way, if you liked the long-ass running of 32, it'll be the same thing this year. Fuck that noise. But anyway, I'll be watching 32, I'll be doing the write-up, and that's the only other post that I might see getting that big.



But anyway, I did the post some time ago. TLDR version: I didn't like it, I thought it was a bad show that spent more time shitting on the old management and owners as well as namedrop former TNA talent as well as WWE because we can't have an Impact show without namedropping a better wrestling product - and believe me, that's not stretching it at all - but more time doing that and pushing an shitty announcers feud than trying to put on a good wrestling product, trying to put out a show that would be a good viable alternative to this other project... and my last word was "Back To Smackdown For Me. Bye Felicia."

As a matter of fact, this past week, ALberto Del Paige, who won the World title on that new Impact in controversial fashion, has surrendered the title in a Twitter video and it's going back to the former champion Lashley, making that entire scenario entirely fucking pointless. So... yeah, when I heard that... I wasn't going to watch anyway because that first episode left a bad taste in my mouth and when that went down, I thought, "Yeah, I don't need to waste my time with this show."

I've been going back and watching old TNA PPVs that I had on DVD or on DVD-R from the early years when they were doing the weekly PPV deal. And while you have some hints of greatness, a lot of these shows were just hard to sit through. I was actually going back to watch the very first NWA-TNA PPV from 2002 and it was a harsh reminder of how much shit you had to sit through in order to get some of the really good bits. I don't want to say a whole lot now because that's the musings for this Thursday, but it wasn't a good show and I imagine that people watching this for the first time would not have been sold on this new promotion. But for those stuck around, there were inklings of greatness and it slowly but surely found its grove.

So this Impact venture might get better, but I won't be sticking around for the ride. Instead, I'll just pull out the few TNA DVDs and DVD-R'ed PPVs I have in there. Might give them a few write-ups; I need material for June, after all. But yeah... while I'm sure people will be up in arms because they've officially buried the TNA brand and that's going to get them into the stratosphere, that isn't going to change the fact that you still need to get people to care about the product. And if the current administration is shitting on the previous administration for not getting the job done and then six months later it turns out these guys couldn't get the job done either, that's going to make them look stupid.

And I think that's what turns me off. You shit on WWE for their stupid mistakes - which is something Joe Blow Fanboy would do - but then you turn around and you make the same stupid mistakes they did and sometimes even stupid shit that they wouldn't touch with a five-foot pole. Yeah, Smackdown with its endless stream of ringside play-by-play guys is stupid, but so is the Josh Matthews shit. It wasn't good when Michael Cole was doing it unless it was on that NXT show... the original NXT, not the one that's on now. But you don't have an NXT show. You just have an Impact Wrestling show... or is this a Global Force Gold show with the Impact Wrestling label slapped because if that's the case, then it's no wonder why that show never got a TV deal despite all that TV you recorded and it's sitting in the basement with all those gold bullion that you tried to scam people with.

Anyway, enough about TNA here, but expect a couple write-ups on TNA PPVs in the future. And hopefully, they'll be more positive than what we have here. But there are a couple bumps in that road, I'll say that much now. And as far as this "new era" goes, look, man, best of luck them. Hope they go through the growing pains and all, but fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, fool me thrice... bye Felicia.

And then there's the mess with the Hardys and the legal stuff and... I don't want to comment on this because that's shit you could look up yourself, but I don't see that ending well.